Remember Last Week…
Bethenny left… And there was peace throughout the land… That is until everyone got into a big fu**ing casino about fu**ing Heather’s fu**ing overuse of the fu**ing word “fu**.” In other news… Tonight… Someone fu**ing gets in a whole lot of fu**ing trouble for actually fu**ing.
Oh goodie – It’s the fu**ing end of the argument about cursing. Heather is trying to calm down Dorinda and as they go into a bathroom – Ramona inserts herself into the situation and tries to hug her friend, Dorinda, since she sees she is really upset. Heather goes off on Ramona to get out of the bathroom….Dorinda hightails it out of the bathroom, too – Cuz there’s nothing like being stuck in a small, heavily tiled space with someone who is yelling.
The others back at the dinner table are just trying to pick up the pieces after the big argument. Sonja tells LuAnn that it was really HER fault because she started shaking her finger at Heather. They all agree there were too many dirty martinis.
Dorinda and the others want to go somewhere and dance… While Heather and Carle just want to go back to the house.
***Question: Last week, the day Bethenny left, the women moved out of the house and into a hotel. But this week, we’re back at the house. Does anyone know why we’re seeing this out of sequence? Am I hallucinating?
OMG… There’s nothing like waking up to the sight of a nekkid guy sleeping in a bed. Well, except in Heather’s case, she has absolutely no idea who he is or why he was there. She found him nekkid and asleep in Bethenny’s old bedroom. Heather walked through that room since it was adjacent to hers to go downstairs to make some morning coffee. She flippin’ flips a fu**ing fig. I’m just wondering where his pirate costume is… (Sorry, obscure reference to another “man” situation on a previous Real Housewives’ trip) lol…
She goes to find Carole to explain what had just happened. Heather is flipping out because she sleeps nekkid and was barely closing her robe as she walked through the house. She knew she had heard the music blaring at around 3:00 AM but had assumed the party was long over.
She and Carole instantly worry about their jewels, watches, and wallets. It’s weird having a strange nekkid guy walk around like he owns the joint. They’re dumbfounded that anyone would send a random guy up to Bethenny’s room to sleep.
They are on a rampage… As they go downstairs, they happen to see a very tired and befuddled Dorinda. The inquisition begins when Heather asks her, “Did a man come home with you last night?” Dorinda just stood there in her one-piece leopard teddy and was confused at the big hullabaloo. In her talking head interview (TH) she tells us she had just woken up and hadn’t even had a chance to put her contacts into her eyes when she first got accosted. She thought with all of the commotion that surely they had found a dead body floating in the ocean or something.
Heather and Carole didn’t get the answers they needed from Dorinda so they stormed into Ramona and Sonja’s room. Please note that they did NOT knock. It’s about 9:30 AM at this time. Ramona just kind of sleepily looks at them while a rabbid Heather grabs the drapes and dramatically flings them open to order the blinding morning sunshine to come flooding into the room. They demand that Ramona, “Get Up!” Ramona dazedly asks them what are they screaming about… Ramona says, “I didn’t do anything – Talk to LuAnn.”
In Ramona’s TH, she smugly confesses, “I was in no mood to engage with Heather – I was dead tired – So, I punted it to LuAnn… Sorry, LuAnn!” #sorry#notsorry
They go into the kitchen where Heather has worked herself into a crying frenzy. The reality has hit her in between the eyes that there was a strange man sleeping alone in an adjacent room to theirs. She rants about impaired judgment… They see evidence that someone had sat at the table and drank juice so obviously, he had the run of the place without a chaperon. I bet he even left the toilet seat up. Damn him!
Carole and Heather go to LuAnn’s room next. We do NOT see exactly how they enter the room – Whether they knock on the door or not… This will be important later. We just all of the sudden see Heather and Carole standing next to a sleeping LuAnn.
They ask LuAnn who is barely waking up, about the sleeping nekkid guy. LuAnn explains that they came back home for some drinks – That the guy she was with left. They tell her that Ramona is blaming LuAnn… Heather asks LuAnn who the other guy was with when your guy left. LuAnn, knowing better than to break girl code, innocently said that she didn’t know. Yeah, right. You just stick to that story, LuAnn.
Carole, in her TH says, “Rule 27 of the Travel Code: Do not leave your luggage or your man unattended, Ramona.”
Heather is flipped out because she thinks this is something that you do when you’re 19. She wonders how Ramona would feel if this had been Avery doing it. I think Heather is still cranky that the night before, the others had implied she wasn’t a good mother to her children because of her cussing. I think she thought it was fair game to bring-up Ramona’s adult daughter in the conversation.
Once LuAnn woke-up, she goes into the kitchen and asks what the big deal is. In her mind, they brought guys home – They had a good time… End of story. She’s incredulous that they’re THAT mad that someone slept upstairs. She tells them she has no idea why he slept upstairs. Heather asks LuAnn point blank if she would have been upset if she found a naked guy sleeping in the room next to hers. LuAnn says, “Not really.” I think LuAnn would have thought she had hit the jackpot. She might have even taken a selfie with the guy… #OpportunityKnocks
Heather concludes that she and LuAnn have very different values and ethics. In her TH, LuAnn wonders if they’re all on a manhunt… She’s a grown woman and can do what she wants to do.
Heather continues her tirade by saying that LuAnn brings strangers back and you don’t even see them out. LuAnn deduced that the guy prolly drank too much and fell asleep.
In the absolute quote of the season, LuAnn tells Heather, “So, be cool… Don’t be all, like… UnCool.”
Heather is still flippin’ mad… Okay…she gets it… LuAnn is cool and she and Carole are uncool. They talk about whether or not the guy stayed with Ramona and LuAnn says that she doesn’t know. LuAnn goes into Ramona’s room to confront her about the situation. By the way, it does NOT look to me like LuAnn knocked on Ramona’s door before opening it and walking into her room.
She tells Ramona that the others are mad because we had fun… LuAnn said that she didn’t know that the guys went upstairs to sleep… Did Ramona know? In her TH, Ramona coyly says, “I don’t divulge such things.” #Slut (giggles)… LuAnn and Ramona think Heather is being ridiculous.
The thing is, the women are not locking their room doors. I would have been hopping mad, too – If a random stranger had spent the night in my home (vacation or otherwise) without my knowledge. Surely, there was a way for the guy to get back home in the wee hours of the morning. Fortunately, I’ve never had to deal with a roommate or vacationmate who brings random men home. I would have felt very vulnerable, too.
Plus, it would have been very easy for a drunken, nekkid guy to get confused and mistakenly walk into my unlocked room while I’m sleeping nekkid in my bed… I mean, who knows who these guys are? As my mom would have said, “They could be axe murderers!” Now granted, there’s got to be enough crew hanging around to ensure people’s safety (one would think)… But still. I completely understand Heather’s freakage… I don’t know that I would have stormed everyone’s rooms on a rampage… But there would have been a confrontation… Make no mistake…
Kristen joins the others in the kitchen and tells them she just got an earful from the house manager, Alisteir. She tells LuAnn that Allisteir tried to push the guys out of the car last night – but that you guys insisted they stay. Allisteir didn’t want them in the house. Kristen said there was some making out on the deck – And LuAnn immediately confesses that she did it. Kristen drops the bomb that LuAnn’s guy was married. LuAnn just shrugs. Whoa… I guest what happens in Turks and Caikos… Stays in Turks and Caikos… Well, you know… Except when it’s on national TV and stuff. Heather doesn’t think it was so classy that the man was married.
Later, Allisteir told LuAnn that Ramona brought the guy upstairs and told him he could sleep there. They all decide that finding the nekkid guy is a clear sign for them to go home.
Ramona love, love, LOVED this trip – On a scale of 1-10 – It was a 10 for her…She had the best time!
Bethenny Gets the 411 (Did that sound cool or uncool?…lol)
OMG… My head is spinning out of control with game ideas for “Cool – OR – UnCool”… lol… Okay, focus, Stars99, focus on the blog… lol… Welcome to my world of being easily distracted…lol.
Macrame outfits: Cool – OR – UnCool?
F-bombs: Cool – OR – UnCool?
Dirty martinis: Cool – OR – UnCool?
Pirate one-night stands: Cool – OR – UnCool?
Pranks: Cool – OR – UnCool?
Leopard Teddy: Cool – OR – UnCool?
Pantsing a friend as you’re being thrown into the ocean: Cool – OR – UnCool?
Okay… Focus, you gooberhead… focus… Okay…
Bethenny meets Carole at a restaurant. Carole tells Bethenny that she didn’t miss much except she did. She says that Ramona brought home a guy… Bethenny instantly says, “Good, someone needed to.” Carole tells Bethenny that “we” are pissed off about it. Carole tells Bethenny that she doesn’t care if you bring home a guy – just don’t leave him in my room.
Bethenny was relieved, because she was thinking, “What are we – The Golden Girls that we can’t bring home a damn guy?” Carole explained that it would have been handled if Ramona had just copped to the fact that the guy was drunk.
In her TH, Bethenny tells us, “Ramona’s pretending there are no men, she didn’t get her boobs done, and she’s a nun living in a monastery… And I don’t buy it.” lolol
Carole clues in Bethenny more about the dinner when they were arguing about cursing. Carole tells her there is a new gangsta in town and she’s blonde and blue-eyed. Dorinda joins Bethenny and Carole right around that time.
Dorinda talks about teaching and preaching. It comes out that Dorinda was probably overtired because she didn’t have her usual 45 minute daily nap that day. Well, yeah…Plus all those dirty martinis didn’t help, either. Bethenny says the only time she’s ever taken a nap was when she had to watch her own talk show in the middle of the afternoon…lol.
Dorinda concludes there were a lot of personalities that do best with time apart.
They talk about the jeans and diamonds gathering that’s happening later that night and wonder if they’re supposed to wear jeans and diamonds? No, they decide… Kristin had an idea about a fundraiser for a charity… She thought that they could auction off jeans that have some fun bling on them.
Bethenny talks about how Kristen had recently said some negative things about Bethenny on record with the press. This surprised Bethenny because Kristen had made it clear that she wanted to make an effort to be friendly with her.
The direct quote from the article is, “I thought that with Bethenny, it’s like you can’t judge a book by its cover. But I think my tune is changing a little bit,” – Daily News – You can read the entire article at: http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/chilly-wives-article-1.2099160
Wow… That Kristen isn’t the brightest pop of color on the rack of nail polishes, is she?
Bethenny receives a text from Kristen asking them to bring a hot glue gun, iron, scissors, and an ice pick to the gathering that evening. Bethenny would love the opportunity to glue gun Kristen’s lips together so she can’t talk to the press about her. Personally, I might have gone with the ice pick… But hey, that’s just me… lol.
Seriously, does anyone even own ice picks anymore since we no longer hafta defrost our freezers? I remember growing up with a red handled ice pick that we kept in the miscellaneous drawer in the kitchen. Looking back, it was prolly pretty dangerous cuz it wasn’t in any kind of a protective case or anything… It was just lying there amongst the measuring tape, pencils, and birthday cake candles…lol. OMG… Nowadays… An ice pick would prolly have to be hanging on the wall behind protective glass with a flashing neon sign that says, “DO NOT TOUCH THIS.” Kids would be required to watch the latest YouTube instructional video about how not to touch the ice pick. I’m sure there would be a written test on it, too. But, back in the day, we weren’t complete dunderheads… We knew better than to touch sharp, pointy objects… Or else we learned fast.
Heather and Kristen are getting back into working out after their vacation. Carole conveniently joins them at the end of their workout session. Carole doesn’t like to exercise. She says that everyone she knows who exercise always complains about how their body hurts. She doesn’t exercise – And her body doesn’t hurt.
Obviously, they talk about the trip and recent events. Carole is still pissed off at LuAnn about how disrespectful she thinks LuAnn was about her dating young, chef Adam.
And because Carole can’t help but be a spoon, she asks Kristen if she did an interview with a magazine. Kristen said that she merely said that you can’t tell a book by its cover – That everyone has a lot of negative things to say about Bethenny, but that you can’t judge a book by its cover. Kristen insists she didn’t say anything negative about Bethenny. Carole tells her that Bethenny thinks otherwise. I think Bethenny told Carole on purpose about her feelings on the article, knowing that Carole would run and tell Kristen about it – Just as she did when Bethenny criticized the name, “Pop of Color” as Kristen’s brand for her new nail polish line. I think Bethenny learns from her mistakes and then uses them for her advantage.
If you read the entire article… To me, it’s clearly a negative slanted article. To be fair, I’ve seen words taken and twisted out of context in articles. I’m not sure if that’s what happened here or not…
Kristen arrives at the home of some guy named, “Manny.” He has offered his house to be where they bedazzle the Yummie jeans that Heather has donated to be auctioned off for Kristen’s Smile Train (http://www.smiletrain.org/) charity auction. The women are gathering to bedazzle and to glue crap onto the jeans. This is the stuff I really love… I wish we would see more of their charity work – But not just of the fund raisers… but all of it… For instance, Bravo should have sent a camera with Kristen when she went to Mexico with Smile Train… I would have LOVED to see that footage…
The women all arrive and instantly get to work. But there is tension in the air… LuAnn has talked herself (and later we find out she had help) into the delusion that when Heather and Carole barged into her room the morning they found the nekkid guy – That they were actually trying to catch LuAnn “in the act” of something. I don’t think that was the case at all… I think they just wanted answers and they were on a nekkid manhunt.
OMG… Dorinda used the coasters the guy had on the table my mistake and glued them onto her jeans as her decorations… How totally hysterical!
It is clear that LuAnn is cranky. She tells Bethenny she doesn’t know how long she can sit there and pretend she’s not mad. Bethenny tells her she’s right there with her, since Bethenny, too, is cranky.
In her TH Bethenny says that she doesn’t like to be fake. She explains, “I’m all for the children, but I’d rather write a check than to sit next to Kristen and bedazzle jeans…. I don’t think the kids would be helped by our negative energy.”
She tells Kristen to please don’t talk about Bethenny to the press. Kristen says that she didn’t say anything that wasn’t already out there. She says it was taken differently than what she intended… She says there’s a lot of crap out there that Bethenny isn’t a great person. Kristen says she only said that she was getting to know Bethenny.
Bethenny tells Kristen that isn’t what she said – and that she was surprised by the negativity since Kristen wants to be her friend. Kristen childishly responds, “Who said I wanted to be your friend at this point?”
Bethenny takes Kristen aside to another room to talk. Bethenny has enough negative things being said about her in the press – She doesn’t need more. Bethenny explains that if you add gas to a fire you get a bigger flame.
Kristen said that Josh saw the article on Sunday and when she looked at it she knew there could be some trouble. Bethenny tells her that when they found out about the article, that she should have called her and explained things at that time. But instead, the article just kept getting recycled and picked up by other news agencies, etc.
Kristen tells Bethenny that she doesn’t think they have the kind of relationship that she can pick up the phone to talk to her about something like this.
Okay, now THAT’S hogwash… If you are on a reality TV show with someone, you just vacationed with that person, done a prank with that person… But you can’t call or text her? What’s up with that? That’s so lame… But if that’s true… Why are you een talking about Bethenny in the first place?
Anyhoo… Bethenny wants to move forward from this… and wants a glass of wine. Kristen thinks this is the first time she’s seen a vulnerable side to Bethenny. Are you kidding me? Have you not watched this entire season and witnessed Bethenny crying every other moment? Puhleeze.
LuAnn decides she wants special camera time, too – So she takes her turn and grabs Heather to talk to her about what she’s so peeved about… Luann tells Heather that she’s livid. Heather doesn’t understand why… LuAnn does the whole, “You know EXACTLY why.”
LuAnn says, “Why would you bust down my door…” but Heather wants her to back it up. LuAnn wants to speak but Heather is insisting she has it wrong. They rehash the events and it comes down to the fact that LuAnn believes they walked into her room without even knocking. LuAnn tells Heather that Carole apologized and said that Heather was on a rampage.
They immediately call in Carole for a confirmation. Carole said that she never apologized to LuAnn about bursting into her room. LuAnn thinks Carole is lying.
Kristen wonders why people are arguing in the other room. Ramona tells her it’s because they’re talking about the nekkid guy. Kristen astutely says, “Doesn’t that have everything to do with you?” Ramona insists that she has no idea… whatever.
LuAnn asks Heather and Carole why they couldn’t wait until she got up to talk to her about the situation. Heather uses the fact that LuAnn blared music at 3:00 AM as a reason why it was okay to storm her room…lol… Heather and Carole insist they knocked before entering LuAnn’s room. We have no way of knowing – the footage we saw is weirdly spliced.
Meanwhile, Sonja sagely tells Ramona that this is why when you take boys home that you keep them outside. Remarkably, Ramona is staying out of the whole thing. LuAnn, Carol, and Heather call for Ramona… but Ramona won’t go in… So, if Ramona won’t come to the mountain, the mountain will go to Ramona…So the women go back into the craft area to confront Ramona.
THE APOLOGIZER STRIKES AGAIN, “Heather, in hindsight, you are so right, and I’m sad and upset that I upset you.”
LuAnn doesn’t want Ramona to get off that easily and wants to know why Ramona tried to pin it on LuAnn. Ramona insists that she didn’t. Ramona said that she was in no condition because she’s not a morning person and it was 9:00 AM in the morning. She merely said to go talk to LuAnn. Ramona hugs it out with Heather.
LuAnn talks more about how she thinks Carole and Heather broke the girl code and were trying to catch LuAnn in “the act.” Carole tells us in her TH that there would have been nothing worse than to catch LuAnn in “the act.”
It came out that LuAnn had called Dorinda to talk about how Heather and Carole stormed LuAnn’s room. Heather thinks Dorinda riled up LuAnn about the whole situation again by having that conversation. Dorinda thinks that the only person who riles up anyone is Heather.
You guys are gooberheads… This is all RAMONA’S FAULT!
Dorinda talks about how Heather goes from teaching to preaching… Heather doesn’t even know this side of Dorinda and Dorinda doesn’t know this side of Heather. Dorinda storms out of the room….
Please see the current viewership statistics in the chart below. Thanks again to Randy at http://bravowhore.com/post/117097147199/rhonys7 who allows me to use his statistics for my charts.
Someone makes a fool out of themselves… Someone actually uses the words “Goodbye, Felicia”… Someone has a therapy session… And Carole and Dorinda leave for London to retrieve the ashes of Carole’s dead husband.
Well, that’s it for this week – Thanks for reading… Hope to see you next week… Happy Trails!