Manzo’d With Children
“Very Brittany Shower” – S2E4 –
Recap by Namaste
Caroline went to lunch with Rosie and Kathy and bitched about the insane shower. Dina is coming to the wedding and Lexie is in the wedding. Albie met up with Boobs Brittany and wants her to come to the shower. He volunteers her to help with the shower.
We open the morning of the shower. Everyone is decorating and working like busy little bees. There are tents, flowers, ribbons and tea cups. Shower planning has been going on for 6 months. Over 110 guests are coming to the big day. Dina is in Cali but Lexi will be there. Caroline wants to make this day super special for Lauren. They have a tea set from when Lauren was a little girl and she is using it to decorate the tent. Caro never comes off as terribly sentimental, but she definitely is.
We now move to Chris’s place. Looks like Albie is hiding out there during the shower nonsense. Someone knocks on the door and guess who it is? Greg Bennett (Joey Gorga is gonna sh** his pants!). Chris is planning to put Greg in a box and give him to Lauren as a gift. Since Greg and Lauren had a love-hate relationship I am questioning this choice and doubt that Lauren registered for Greg. I think she would have preferred a nice place setting.
Back at Chez Manzo, we are talking sh** about Boobs Brittany. Caro is cautiously optimistic about this pending relationship. They are busy gluing tea cups to saucers and planting little flowers in the tea cups. Whoever is busy gluing is told by Caro that one cup is “crooked”. This particular gal refers to Caro as “Don”. Obviously, she reads my blog! Boobs Brittany walks in to start helping and immediately starts picking up the tea cups. Unfortunately, the glue is not dried and a cups slip off the saucer and smacks back onto the table. Caro actually feels bad for the poor girl and sees she is trying. You can tell Brittany is trying. By the way, this is all going on 3 hours before the shower!
Albie and Greg are sitting at a bar discussing Boobs Brittany. I got nothin’.
The shower decorations took awesome and the tables are numbered! LOVE! Jac and Kathy and Melissa arrive. Lexis is there. Vito’s mom has joined the crazy. Rosie has arrived. Lauren arrives in a white lace top and fluffy chiffon full length skirt! Looks super pretty and she is tearing up.
Albie and Caro meet her at the door with champagne. Caro really did everything she could to make this special. There are little umbrellas filled with flowers floating on the pool! LOVE! My shower was held a little hall. My mom tried to make it a surprise, but people RSVP’d to our home phone. LOL! Side not, while Lauren is dressed the 9’s, Vito is wearing a simply button up with embroidery on the left side almost like a work shirt. He is such a simple guy. I like him and he has been with this group long enough to know what he is getting into, but I hope he doesn’t become like THEM. Or more specifically, like Lauren! I’ve included some additional pictures from the shower and of Lauren after this blog.
Chris and Albie drive up with Greg in the box in the back of Chris’s car. They are discussing whether this will be a good surprise or a bad surprise. They arrive and remove the box and Greg from the back of a van. I am still thinking a nice place setting or a vacuum would be a better choice. Maybe a good frying pan. Even a fondue set. Off topic but amongst us friends here, what was the most ridiculous wedding/shower gift you received? I got an “I Owe You” for a set of sheets. I have been married for 22 years and have still not gotten those F-ing sheets. I am thinking of hunting that bitch down and with inflation, I am owed some 800 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets!
These Jersey ladies really know how to Bring It to a shower. They are dressed in their “Sunday Best” yet none of them are going to Mass. OK, I wouldn’t be caught dead in any of those dresses on the property of my church so this is not Mass attire. Brittany is wearing a very sweet blue and white floral dress and looks pretty and modest. Boobs are rightly covered. BTW, there is a DJ at the shower. There was not a DJ at my shower. I think there was a cassette deck though. Caro does a toast to Resting Bitch Face Lauren. Caro gives Lauren a sash made from her wedding dress and piece of blue fabric from one of Albert’s shirts. The sash will be incorporated into Lauren’s bouquet. I had a hanky that was my bonnet at my baptism.
Chris comes into the party area playing a trumpet and asks Lauren to come out front to get her gift. Lauren reluctantly (surely she is expecting a Dyson or maybe a Kitchen Aid Mixer) comes out front and Greg breaks out of the box. Lauren gets a little emotional and hugs him. Well played Chris. Well played.
Um, Brittany got Lauren a “sister-in-law” card. WTF?
Jacqueline sits down with Albie and Boobs Brittany. Asks Brittany what size her finger is and how many kids she wants to have. Brittany doodles in a notebook “Brittany & Albie”. How very 7th grade. I wonder how many times she has written her name Mrs. Brittany Manzo? I wonder if she has played a game of MASH to see where they will live and what kinda car they will drive?
Vito is sitting on a couch with Chris, Albie and Greg. They talk about how many kids Vito wants. They all talk about how scary Lauren will be when she is preggers. Ouch. Thankfully, Vito is not the one talking sh**. It is mostly Greg and the boys. Whew. Vito is smarter than I gave him credit for.
Albie and Chris are now cleaning up after the party. Chris is bitching that he wasn’t invited to the party, didn’t get to eat at the party yet provided the best gift and still has to clean up!
Chris is writing a children’s book. Lauren has never truly seen Vito has a “roommate” yet, Albie has. Vito’s mom tells Lauren, “You are the vessel that’s gonna bring me a grandchild.” Lauren’s facial expression is priceless