Real Housewives of Melbourne
“Join The Club” – S3/E1
Well now…long time coming but RHOM is finally here and the first episode didn’t disappoint…It seems we have new taglines, old fights, new fights, new people, and true to last year’s first episode, the troublemakers lay out the season’s rumors and storylines like ducks in a row!
I Would Say for the First Three, They are Probably Dead-on Accurate.
The Next Three –
- Janet obviously has had ‘work’ done – I haven’t seen a face or turkey waddle that tight since basic training when I had to flip a quarter on my bed to see if it was made tightly enough that the quarter would bounce – but the tagline fits her!
- Gamble either has Gina’s influence on big hair or is growing it out for the wedding – but the tagline fits her!
- Lydia’s tagline is strictly to fend off rumors, and I don’t think there is anything to the rumors, although Susie does!
- A barely recognizable (and not in a good way) Petty-Petti continues her narcissism in her tagline
- We may have found our chit-stirrer in Susie homemaker and I think the tag line says it ALL!
I get a true kick out of seeing this as last season we saw the closet after it had been redone in a scene with Chyka and Chessie (her daughter) where she was mentioning what not to allow Bruce (her husband) to know regarding what she spends or how many bags/shoes she has.
Fast-forward to this season where Bruce is sitting on a couch IN HER CLOSET making fun of her organization of her hoards of everything. Every time she opens another drawer he exclaims “OH there’s more…” until she finally asks him if he wants to discuss his watch collection! HINT TO CHYKA – watches vs 15 drawers of jewelry is not a level playing field…just say’in!
I have actually been in a few Book Clubs in my day and none involved alcohol, much less a bottle of champagne per person, but hey…maybe I was just in the wrong place – this one looks like much more fun…with good friends, good libations and great food I am sure – Chyka does put forth a good spread on the food.
Again with the exclusivity…only Janet and Jackie were invited from the cast and then Susie as her introduction to the show. They talked briefly about who Susie knew and she knows half the HWs – Gina, Lydia, Chyka, Janet – so it was surprising to me we haven’t seen her before, right? However it makes her a logical choice as an additional HW – but not sure why this group moved to 8 this season.
PETTY/PETTI MEETS LYDIA FOR LUNCH
Now here is an odd coupling after last season…but Petty/Petti explains they have had a friendship for about a month and she is starting to feel like she can trust Lydia…and Lydia says Petty/Petti has her loyalty but she has only known her a very short time…so during this brief meeting, the following transpires:
- P/P asks if when in England at the same time as Shane Warn – did Lydia get a dance with him, WTH??? Petti is starting as she did last season drafting her story line by Rumor- Hinting…she is throwing Jello at a wall and trying to see what sticks, and when something does, she will pursue that and use it against them.
- P/P asks how Andrew (Lydia’s husband) took Lydia being away and being out and about with Shane, and dealing with the rumors
- Lydia said why would there be rumors?
BACK TO BOOK CLUB
- Janet announces Shane Warn asked her out – everyone’s jaw drops (except Janet’s cause it can’t move) – and ensuing discussion revealed it was only a Booty Call.
- Janet recounts her telling Lydia about the call from Shane and said Lydia was very very very upset about it – (Janet will continue [not unlike P/P] to throw inaccurate rumors, like Jello, until she can see what sticks or where she can get the most reaction like she did to Gamble last year.
- Susie HM says where there’s smoke there’s fire!
BACK TO P/P AND LYDIA LUNCH
- Lydia tells Petty/Petti that she has an issue with Grandma (Janet)!
- Janet after the reunion last season yelled at Lydia for not supporting her gossip about Gamble
- Then it moved to social media (Twitter) where Janet called her a lying cow, and called her Lydiot
- Lydia retaliated by calling Janet Grandma on Twitter (these all can be Googled if you want to read them)
BACK TO BOOK CLUB
- Grandma Janet recounting the Twitter fight with Lydia
BACK TO P/P AND LYDIA LUNCH
- OK I am getting dizzy and we are only 14 min into the show
- Lydia tells P/P her skin looks beautiful and asks if she has had work done
- P/P immediately says: NO WORK, and then switches the conversation to Gamble and calling her a bitch and saying Gamble started a rumor about she had work done…AND… said it is her fault she received a legal letter about her book and believes Gamble is behind it and it cost her a lot of money to resolve it (sorry…last year’s storyline), however she says “two can play this game” (storyline for this year…LOL)
- Then P/P murders the phrase “two wrongs don’t make a right” by saying “two rights don’t make a wrong” and Lydia tried to make sense of it, and it reminded me of Lydia and the 71th floor comment last season. English is English ladies…the only thing different is y’all speak with an accent!
- P/P says she heard some gossip – and promptly relays that Rick Wolf (Gambles now husband) was on SugarDaddy.com and says that is how they met. THIS WAS ASKED AND ANSWERED LAST SEASON – it was eHarmony.com. Now, was he ever on the other site? – don’t know – but it wasn’t where he met Gamble, and P/P knows that!
- P/P now refers to Gamble as Black Widow because of the rumor.
- Lydia asks why Black Widow?
- P/P says because she meets and kills
- Lydia says that’s a bit nasty and P/P disagrees
- P/P says I thought you were my friend
- Lydia says what makes you think I‘m not
- P/P says you aren’t supporting me
- WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT LYDIA WOULD BE THE VOICE OF REASON? GOOD ON YOU LYDIA!!!
- We learn Rick isn’t interested in planning or selecting anything for the wedding…just tell him where and when and he will happily be there…typical man…LOL
- Gamble announces they really love each other but they are going with a prenup so everything is spelled out if the relationship ends. SMART WOMAN – guess you dispelled the Gold digger rumor!! Hope P/P watched the show…LOL!
- As busy as Gina is with all her endeavors, she has hired a Personal Assistant (PA), and mentions he is not very experienced (the most understated comment ever) but I presume he will move a bit faster or get run over once he rids himself of the deer in the headlight look!
- Gina speaks of her new Fragrance, and says it captures the ultimate drag queen, the ultimate fearless woman, someone who loves beautiful, woody, smoky, warm, exotic scents and a bit of hairspray!
- Susie calls and says she missed her at Book Club
- Gina said she couldn’t think of anything more boring
- Susie invites her to a Baking Party
- Gina asks if she is baking or eating or did it mean baking the skin and she doesn’t do that she has a spray tan!
- Gina asks if she can bring her girlfriend Gamble and then added Petti cause it would seem mean to leave her out
ALIN THE WEDDING PLANNER
- Gamble seeking help planning the wedding, so Alin is hired. Alin has beachy colors picked out, Gamble has RED ORIENTAL picked out – gonna have to be a showdown over this.
- Is she inviting P/P? Yes, she doesn’t want to leave anyone out.
LYDIA AND ANDREW
- Lydia and Andrew (who never wanted to be in the show before) in their kitchen being cute and cuddly with their banter back and forth and him making her coffee
BEN AND JACKIE
- Pontificating about all that happened at Book Club
LYDIA AND JOHANNA
- Lydia decides since Andrew sold her Porche and her new one hasn’t arrived yet, that her housekeeper can be her chauffer…Kill Me NOW!!! Although she warns Johanna she is a bit of a backseat driver, RUN JOHANNA RUN…there is a TRUNK in that car…PUT LYDIA IN IT and let Figaro sit up front!
CHYKA, BRUCE, AND CHESSIE
- A long tearful lesson about not immediately owning up to scratching Bruce’s car while he and Chyka were off on holiday for 8 weeks!!!
LYDIA AND GAMBLE LUNCH
- Lydia and Gamble catching up and working on their new friendship
- Talked about the Twitter fight with Janet
- The think maybe Janet is smoking her tea
- Talking about P/P and Lydia wants to help them repair some damage
- Brings up SugarDaddy.com
- Tells her about Black Widow conversation
SUSIE’S BAKING PARTY ~ GONNA BE A RUMBLE!
- Lydia politely said hello to all the girls and Janet pulled away from her
- Gamble voiceover says “P/P is the most irritating woman I’ve ever met” and goes on to say the energy changes whenever she walks into a room.
- P/P and Gina sit down and she thanks her again for her support during her legal matter
- P/P tells Gina she kicked her son and his girlfriend out of the house because they were kicking in with the upkeep
- Gina as always gives sage advice and tells her nurturing wins over tough love
- Susie asks Lydia about was she boinking Shane – Lydia looks appalled at her since they have known each other for so many years (Is this going to be Susie’s storyline?)
- Lydia shuts her up by saying “NO, last night I f****d my husband!”
- Lydia and Janet go to sit down and resolve their issue and Jackie is along as a mediator
- No resolution here
- Jackie trying to mediate and in walks P/P and is horning in on the conversation and saying she never uses social media to carry on a fight…well that’s not true
- Gamble enters the conversation and asks P/P why she called her a black widow
- P/P accuses Lydia by saying that conversation was private
- Lydia said no it wasn’t
- P/P asks why Lydia is doing this to her because she thought they were friends
- Lydia tells her to stop being a b***h and that she was being ridiculous…and the beat goes on…
A ton of stuff packed in this explosive episode, but several things ring true…
- Petti is still petty with a nasty temperament and no storyline except being a rumor starter
- Janet starting rumors on the first episode just like last year and that became her storyline
- Susie may be another chit-stirrer, not sure yet, but at least she does it with a bit more class than P/P or Janet and a whole lot quieter. I am not jumping to any conclusions about Susie, let’s see how it plays out
- The best line was by Gina about the fighting – “It was like cats in the street in the middle of the night”
- Two people I never thought I would mention in the same sentence with the words ‘voice of reason’ surprised me in this episode and I liked the growth I saw in both of them
- Chyka is still Switzerland – but I like Switzerland
- Still loving me some Gamble and Gina though and I am happy to see Gina out of the fray for once, and am sad to see Gamble being dragged into it by P/P AGAIN!!!!
Hope you all enjoyed the show, and how do all of you feel about the constant re-run of rumors again this year? Any and all comments welcome!
Ciao for now!
Note from Stars99: Thanks so much to Reality_Bytes for volunteering to blog this show for us this season! This is really one of my favorite franchises… Everything and everyone is so over the top – Their clothes and makeup are MUST-SEE TV! I also really like how they are really direct with each other… I love it all! Plus, the accents… Ya gotta love the accents, no? Thanks, Reality_Bytes!..