It is the season of thanks – Yet some might find it tougher than usual to be genuinely thankful this year – ‘Cuz of all that’s going on in our world. Others are facing a Thanksgiving with empty chairs around their table for various reasons. Plus, there are those who feel a sense of unbelonging weighing heavy in their heart as syrupy-sweet Hallmark-like commercials serve as nagging reminders about how life does not always turn out how we pictured it would be. White knuckling it through the holidays is common but we rarely talk about it in any real way.
One thing I’m especially thankful for right about now is the existence of laughter and snark – ‘Cuz it’s something we ALL need more of in our lives right about now, no?
So in that spirit, I offer you my special list of reasons I’m snarkfully thankful for some of our favorite Bravo shows… Feel free to add to the list…lol… Happy Snarksgiving!
Real Housewives of Orange County (RHOC)
- Part 3 of the Reunion aired this week so that means this crappy season is finally over! Yay! Does a lil happy dance… Shimmy, shimmy to the left; Shimmy, shimmy to the right. Woo hoooOOooOoo! This season seemed like it lasted forever…
- I’m thankful that Vicki is such a consummate lying liar who lies and has made lying an actual artform – ‘Cuz now we know exactly what a selfishly compulsive narcissistic liar looks like so we don’t make the mistake of ever inviting them over for Thanksgiving dinner. #MoreTurkeyForMe
- I’m thankful for RHOC because the entire cast continually reminds us that no matter how wonky we may be at times – at least we’re not like THEM…
For example, we see how Kelly and Tamra fight downright dirty and spew atrocious vulgarities at the drop of a hat…
We know how Her Royal Heatherness – in all of her glorious pretentiousness – loves to sit on her high-horse of a throne in the middle of her ostentatious closet (Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s beautiful – but I’m a jealous, okay? Click here to see her podcasts from her closet – YouTube video posted by Heather’s Closet entitled “Welcome to Heather’s Closet!”). With a single flick of her finger she issues edicts about how the rest of us peasants are to behave if we are to be in her presence and dare breathe the same air as she… Most of us would LOVE to flick a certain finger back at her, no? lol
We’ve heard Over-sharing Shannon continue to give us more information about David’s infidelity than any of us ever really wanted to know… Yeah, yeah, yeah, that David is such a “keeper” ‘cuz he threw you a surprise birthday party and vow renewal <insert gratuitous eye roll here>.
Yet, it’s our perfect widdle Vicki who takes the cake and the half-eaten icing bow on being unthinkably vile. I mean seriously, she is so utterly tone deaf to right and wrong that she can actively be part of her boyfriend’s lie about having cancer one season – and the very next season launch a cancer “charity.” This “charity” was designed to make money for Vicki because it created leads for her about people who wanted to buy insurance – Plus, don’t forget it was Vicki who cavalierly threw out incredibly serious accusations of domestic violence against Shannon’s husband while not knowing the full story and thus forever screwed-up the lives of their children – All just to create drama for a reality show. Really, how does she sleep at night?
Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA)
- While we all may have moments of cluelessness, I’m thankful at least we’re not ignorant enough to think that the underground railroad was an actual railroad with trains running underground – This outlandish idea came from Porsha and what made it especially egregious is that she is not only a Georgia native who should have known better, but her grandfather was a famous great civil rights leader. I’m sure he turned over in his grave at her embarrassing display of dumbassery.
- I’m thankful they taught us such life-changing concepts as how to “throw shade,” how to “read” someone, and how to sweetly say “bless your heart” while meaning something very, very different.
- Kandi’s adorable baby “Ace” makes me smile so much every time I see him and has caused me to believe that the impossible can actually happen – like potty training a 5-month old.
Real Housewives of New Jersey (RHONJ)
- Makes me thankful that no matter what your relationship status is – that at least you’re not married to either one of the Neanderthal Twins – Joe and Joe.
- Makes me howl in laughter because a felon who was away at Federal “camp” for fraud can actually STILL be snobby enough to say she wouldn’t drive a “Ford.” Sit yourself down… Puhleeze!
- I’m thankful for Milania (No, not THAT Milania) and her big heart because even though her outlandishly inappropriate outbursts make for good TV – The largeness of her heart may someday actually bring world peace.
Real Housewives of New York City (RHONY)
- I’m thankful for Dorinda because she ALWAYS “Makes it Nice.” It’s too bad the rest of the cast really screws things up.
- We’ve learned that “Money Can’t Buy You Class” but it can buy you a diamond ring you giddily wave under everybody’s nose even though it’s from a cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.
- We’ve seen that even a millionaire can believe she’s homeless, adult women still play hide ‘n seek from their party guests, a gift of a hula hoop as a birthday gift is always kewl no matter how ridiculously ungrateful the recipient acts, cougars seem to always travel in packs, that it’s funny to hide utensils inside a calzone, and a skinny girl will never ever be friends with a tipsy girl.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (RHOBH)
- I’m thankful this season that we won’t be subjected to any more ginormous “journey” blog posts from a certain lemon-lover.
- I learned that “See You Next Tuesday” can be used as a noun, an adjective, and a necklace.
- I’m thankful that I conveniently don’t remember much about what happened last season (but I think it was bad – Really, really bad). For some reason I have it blocked from my memory and I’m not eager to be reminded about it. The new season debuts on December 6th – and I’m just eager to finally get beyond RHOC AND RHONJ, to be honest.
Vanderpump Rules (VR)
- After this week’s episode, I’m thankful I’ve never eaten steak at Schwartz’s house (Don’t ask – it’s so beyond gross that I would seriously change my mind about marrying him if I were Katie). Who does crap like this (pun intended) and actually thinks it’s funny? And stay off my lawn, dagnabit! (Am I being a fuddy duddy?)
- I’m thankful VR has taught me that Mean girls (like cougars) always run in packs and that they are simultaneously unthinkably vicious and crazily hypocritical. And catty… very, very catty. Meow.
- I’m thankful that through watching this show, it has caused me to erase “eating at SUR,” “having drinks at Pump,” and “dining at Villa Blanca” off my Wish List because Lisa incredulously employs these gooberheads like this. You couldn’t pay me enough money to drink any drink that Jax created – Seriously, I’ve seen the show. #NotALLPublicityIsGood
- I’m thankful Captain Lee is not my boss – However, I would cruise on any yacht he commands.
- I’m thankful that no matter how bitchy I get – I’m STILL not half as big of a bitch as Kate.
- It has taught me that if I ever DO have the opportunity to cruise on a yacht with Ben as the chef, that I would make my menu preferences outlandishly hilarious just so that I could yank his chain.
- I learned that the “charm” in “Southern Charm” is all just a façade, bless their heart (RHOA would be proud that I used “bless their heart” properly, no?).
- I’m thankful the good people of South Carolina knew better than to elect a felon to the U.S. Senate. I mean, how is it even legal for a convicted felon to be a senator?
- I learned that it is actually possible for the Oriental Trading Company to run out of inflatable flamingos when a certain highfalutin wannabe southern belle of a certain age decided to throw a theme party and wanted to fill her pool with pink flamingos. #VanderEnvy #MyFlamingoIsBiggerThanYours
Shahs of Sunset
- I’m thankful to have learned not to leave knives on the dinner table if Golnesa is around.
- I love watching how Asa’s close family works together for her “Asa Kaftans” business – it’s too just too bad her friends aren’t half as supportive.
- I’m thankful my Mom was not even remotely like MJ’s Mom who inexplicably berates her daughter and behaves atrociously every chance she gets. How embarrassing. #damaged
Well, I hope you have a fabulous Thanksgiving – whatever you’re doing. Though the road is tough at the moment for many of us, there is much to be thankful for because we are alive to actually say it. I must say that a year ago I wasn’t sure that I would make it for another Thanksgiving – and I’m so thankful for every day that I’m given.
The picture above is the cherry pie that Mr. Stars made from the cans of cherries that I lost my mind over in my previous post.
Thanks for reading… I appreciate each and every one of you so much. You have stuck with me through some pretty tough stuff – and your love and support mean so much to me. I’m truly thankful for you.
Video of the Week
This video cracks me up… Baby elephant just wanted a piggyback ride… So what’s the prob? Lol… YouTube video posted by Gert Hengeveld entitled “Cute Baby Elephant Rides His Mother.”