Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (RHOBH)
“The Proof Hurts” – S9/E5
AKA: “My Receipt is Bigger than Your Receipt”
Remember Last Week…
We learned that 2 Johns don’t make a right… and that it was “Truth Cannon Teddi” who arranged for Lucy to be available for the cameras when she and Kyle were filming a scene at Vanderpump Dogs. “Truth Cannon Teddi” with her serious face told us all that she never lies. It would have been less obvious if she had flipped the switch on the neon red blinking “liar face” arrow pointing down at her head.
The castmates collectively realized they were completely wrong about LVP’s part in the whole Lucy situation. After finding out that it was totally Teddi’s fault this storyline was perpetuated in almost every danged scene for the first 5 episodes now, the women contritely threw themselves at Vanderpinkies’ feet and begged for her apology.
Yeah, no… that’s not at all what happened.
I’ve written and rewritten this blog a bazillion times from varying perspectives and I haven’t been satisfied with any of them. Every week more and more information is revealed – and we, the viewers, have been taken for a ride. It pisses me off, to be honest.
I think our attention has been purposefully obscured by smoke and mirrors that have shifted our focus into unimportant trivialities.
For me… it comes down to this…
She Hates Me… She Hates Me Not
Haven’t we all worked somewhere where someone hated us? I know I have…
I worked at a place where there was a fellow manager who HATED me… I mean… ha-ha-HATED me. She was out to get me and actively tried to make me look bad every chance she got. There were others she also didn’t like – but she had special vitriol reserved only for me.
Everyone knew it – It became the running joke of the division. She became a freakin’ laughing stock. Everyone saw through her laughably transparent jealousies.
I knew that I would be ultimately judged on the quality and quantity of work I consistently produced so I tried the best I could to keep my head down and do my job. I tried to stay out of her lane and proximity as much as possible.
People would come to me ALL of the time and feed me “heads up” pieces of juicy information about her. Sometimes it was gossipy – sometimes it was not. I suspect some of the people told me information so I could use it to bring her down. Others were simply watching my back.
During all that time, I never once acted on it – Never. Oh sure, I had ample opportunity to negatively impact her career. I just chose not to.
However, if I HAD chosen to act on the information… How on earth could I have EVER blamed anyone else for my actions?
The people who told me the information wouldn’t have been at fault at all – they just imparted the information. Their own personal motives for telling me had nothing to do with anything as far as I was concerned.
Oh sure, they were spoons who stirred up the situation – but they would have never been culpable for MY actions, right?
It’s ridiculous to think otherwise.
I didn’t act on it because I didn’t WANT to act on it. I knew she, too, would be judged on her productivity or lack thereof. I honestly didn’t want to sink to her level. She really didn’t need MY help to look silly – she did that quite well on her own, TYVM.
Plus, karma is a heartless b*tch and finally took a ginormous bite out of her dupa… but that’s a story for another time…
We Hold These Truths to be Self Evident
It is ridiculous for Accountability Coach and Truth Cannon Teddi to blame anyone else for her own actions. In the beginning, all she had was information about what happened to Lucy – she CHOSE to act on it. She was a housewife in need of a storyline.
Teddi chose to bring it up on camera… She arranged for Lucy to be available for shooting the scene at Vanderpump Dogs… She continued to bring Lucy up every chance she got. Vanderpinkie shut down the subject whenever it came up.
Teddi’s “truth” about her level of involvement evolved throughout these first 5 episodes. You can see it especially as you read her weekly blogs all of which can be accessed here.
Seriously, Teddi has gone from saying in her 1st blog that she “was told a story.” Then said, “When I initially found out, I was definitely not nice about it, especially since the story I was told was highly exaggerated (and continues to change—keep watching!).”
In her next blog she wrote, “I know I have been used as a pawn to get the story about Dorit and the dog out there while LVP can pretend like she had Dorit’s best interests.”
Later in the same blog she continued, “…it was all designed by LVP to get this Lucy story out there without looking like she wanted it out there. As you see in the trailer for next week, I am not clean in this mess, and it starts to be revealed.” Teddi also wrote, “… I’m realizing she’s using me as the fall gal.”
Then, Teddi’s March 5th blog said, “John Blizzard called me to tell me the dog story at Lisa Vanderpump’s request, knowing that Dorit and I were in a bad place. He tells me that Dorit would not call Lisa Vanderpump back and that Lisa wanted to text her “Teddi knows” in an effort to get her to respond.”
Later, in the same blog, Teddi writes, “Yes, I originally agreed to be a part of this mess and asked John Blizzard to have the dog there.”
In her most recent March 12th blog, Teddi wrote, “I should’ve shared all of the information up front. I did not, I regret that, and I apologize. I do want to stress that I was fed an original lie of a story that was so upsetting, and that is partly why I didn’t come clean, because I knew I would have to tell it.”
What “original lie of a story,” Teddi? The only piece that’s fuzzy is whether or not Lisa told one or more Johns to tell you, no? I haven’t heard anyone dispute any other fact of the story – other than perhaps the question of who actually dropped Lucy off at the kill shelter… but that’s a whole nuther Oprah.
Teddi claims she doesn’t outright lie – but it’s becoming crystal clear she is at least guilty of strategically omitting pivotal pieces of the story that dramatically skewed the truth. As a result, all of the women jumped on the bus that ran over Vanderpinkie and blamed HER for the whole thing.
PLUS… and I cannot say this LOUD enough:
NO ONE MADE YOU DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, TEDDI!
You were given information and you CHOSE to act on it.
How is Rinna NOT screaming at Teddi to “Own it!?” Oh well… I guess “owning” it is so last season…lol.
Just as in my situation, it matters very little how Teddi found out about the information – or the motives of the people who made sure she received the information… It matters what Teddi did WITH the information.
It matters that she’s now claiming to be a victim of Vanderpinkie’s amazing manipulative mind-controlling skills. Puhleeze.
Target – Is Not Just a Place to Shop
I’ve concluded that we’re being distracted by a sparkling pink Vanderpinkie target painted by the entire cast. Everyone’s taking turns at throwing darts at Vanderpinkie… whose brother committed suicide only 3 months earlier…
Such a lovely cast…
We need to ask ourselves whose face should actually be on the target?
Why is Vanderpinkie’s face on the target? Even IF LVP did tell one or both of the Johns they could tell Teddi about the Lucy situation with Dorit (and I wouldn’t be that surprised if she did…) – So what? I will say there’s a big difference between being told you CAN tell someone information vs. being directed TO tell someone information.
I mean… Why wouldn’t LVP have just told Teddi herself? Teddi implied it’s to keep LVP’s hands clean. Why didn’t Teddi talk to LVP about the situation herself if she had questions or misgivings about it? The phone rings both ways, right?
I only have 2 issues with LVP about this: 1) To me, it isn’t right that employees/partners are talking to non-staff about Vanderpump Dog customers. It does make it murky because Lisa, Teddi, AND Dorit are all on a reality TV show and have basically signed their lives away thus allowing everything about their lives to be open season… But still…it doesn’t sit well with me.
2) Dorit and PK should have been treated like any other customer – especially since Lucy was their 2nd failed dog placement. If other customers are allowed to rehome their dogs that haven’t worked out with merely a phone call after the fact – then it’s okay that Lisa treated it that way with Dorit.
However, if that $5,000 contract obligation is enforced with others – it should have been enforced with Dorit and PK.
I mean, good luck with getting a check from them and all… allegedly… you know…
Things That Entertained Me
Rinna wore an Erika Jaye t-shirt while on her walk with Denise. It was hilarious. Equally hilarious was the fact that Denise wanted one.
I loved how Rinna was genuinely happy for Denise that she was getting married.
It cracked me up that Teddi was talking about just filming a workout video the day before that was scheduled to be completely edited within 3 weeks. Whoa… that’s fast! I instantly thought about Real Housewives of Atlanta with the whole Phaedra and Todd workout tape fiasco. Bottoms up!
At one point in her talking head, Rinna points to her own face and tells us it’s as “fresh as a daisy” ‘cuz she doesn’t take herself too seriously. She tells us if you take yourself too seriously that it ages you. As usual, she throws a jab at LVP who will likely just throw one back.
I think we ALL shouldn’t take any of this too seriously… I’d rather look like a daisy than be pushing up daisies.
Kyle was in the middle of curling her hair when Teddi called – so Mauricio took over curling Kyle’s hair. It was hilarious – and he took such pride in it.
I Have Questions
Why aren’t we talking about suicide prevention in all of this in light of LVP’s brother? That’s one of the things we SHOULD be talking about, no?
Where is the compassion for LVP? I’d send out compassion sniffing dogs… but I’m afraid of them getting too close to Dorit.
Why isn’t Dorit getting any blame at all from her cast members? It’s weird… And why isn’t Dorit apologizing that her actions resulted in Lucy ending up at a kill shelter? Or did she apologize, and I just blocked it out ‘cuz she pisses me off so much? It’s quite possible… lol.
Why does Dorit feel the need to gloat all the time? This week it was about how she’s ridden horses all over the world. Ugh… Plus, she was wearing Chanel suspenders when they were horseback riding – Is she getting paid extra for that? Does Bravo get paid for the free commercial? Is it strategic product placement? People with real money don’t usually go out of their way to wear crap with designer labels.
Why does Denise have to get married in 10 days? Her fiancé said it was because of numerology and that 8 = infinity and blah blah blah. Aren’t there other dates 3 or 4 months later that would also be beneficial – numerically speaking? I hope Denise isn’t being taken on a ride to infinity and beyond (Thanks, Toy Story!)
How does one own a color? Kyle made a point of wearing a shocking pink suit to Vanderpinkie’s house and said she was no longer going to be bullied by the pink. I dunno… I would think Vanderpinkie’s house would be THE place to always wear pink, yes? Plus, the best way to get me to wear something is to tell me I can’t… lol. I may or may not be a tad rebellious…
Doesn’t it seem especially egregious to not tell the whole truth about something whilst sitting in a chapel talking about it? I kept wincing while Teddi and Erika talked about Teddi’s part in the whole Lucy thing because I expected lightning bolts to come hurdling down from the sky any moment.
When someone invites you to their house 4:00 PM – Do you assume they will be serving lunch? I wouldn’t expect lunch even if the invite was for 2:00 PM. Heck, I wouldn’t expect lunch at ANY time unless it was specified that we were having it. Yet Dorit expected LVP to have a food fest for her. I think Dorit’s lucky LVP didn’t have her attack swans Hanky and Panky have a go at her… lol.
I agree with Kyle – Who told LVP that Teddi knew about the dog situation? I suspect John Blizzard told John Sessa who told LVP… but who knows?
Does size matter? ‘Cuz LVP’s receipts were MUCH larger than Teddi’s, right? I also have a problem with an employer requiring printouts from a cell phone that is not owned by the employer… I mean… I assume it was John Blizzard’s personal cell, right? Or did I miss something?
Do Dairy Queens still make yummy blizzards and where do I get one? Will John Blizzard go with us to get a blizzard? Do we get extra points if John Blizzard goes with us to get a blizzard whilst it blizzards? #Asking4AHungryFriend
Why is PK such a creeping creeper who creeps? LVP has staunchly defended Dorit and PK for the last 2 seasons and yet PK whined on camera about how LVP didn’t send him a text on his birthday. Boo freakin’ hoo. In the same breath he called Lisa a master manipulator. Ruh roh… Ken is SOOOOOOOOO not going to like that.
Why does the cast on the Real Housewives of New York hafta come clean about all of their news stories? Yet the RHOBH cast can hide lots and lots of stuff from us and it never gets mentioned on camera by anyone? I mean there are lawsuits everywhere you turn!
Okay… that’s it for this week… I’m barely getting this posted before tonight’s episode… So, thanks for taking the time to read it…
Some of you have asked if I’m going to blog New York this season… I think I’m going to continue to blog RHOBH unless it pisses me off too much… I’ll prolly just do a special blog here and there for New York if/when anything interesting happens…
Remember… Every time a housewife lies… An angel gets some bling!
Until next time…
Video of the Week
I love when dogs in completions run amok. This video made me laugh so much. One of my favorite competitions is when dogs attempt to run an agility course…
The YouTube video was posted by Crufts and entitled, “Kratu the Rescue Dog Having Fun in the Rescue Dog Agility | Crufts 2018.”
All photos are video screenshots of the episodes or videos related to the episodes that can be accessed at:www.bravotv.com. The group shot is from the RHOBH’s Facebook page – that can be accessed at: https://www.facebook.com/pg/RealHousewivesofBeverlyHills/photos/?ref=page_internal