Do we care? Lol…
There were a whole lotta wonky things that happened in this episode… I woke up at 6:30 AM this morning feeling extra snarky… and now I’m starting to write… You have been warned… Clear the roads… This blog is not for the faint-of-heart…
In the opening scene, we have the Vanderpumps going shopping at a sex shop, although Lisa is hesitant in going into the store. However, there’s a great sale on lube and the Vanderpumps can’t wait to stock up. Ken is blathering on and on about something that Lisa’s not paying any attention to because she’s too distracted by the play toys. Lisa finally tears herself away after setting a vibrating duck in motion and whipping around a crop and finally gives Ken her attention.
Ken wants to open a new restaurant in the sex shop. They’re gonna serve chips and dicks as an appetizer… Meatloaf tits and gravy as an entrée… and orgasmic volcano cake for dessert. Just kidding.
All kidding aside, Ken DOES want to open yet another restaurant – an English Tavern on this lot. Ken has already taken over the lease (without asking the Queen first) in Chi Chi La Rues (the sex shop). Sure he has…lol. Why do I find it hilarious that the salesman’s name is Coco?
Lisa’s mad because opening a restaurant means that she is going to have to design it and then create it which will require her to be on site every day for a year… Ken is minimizing the work involved. Lisa doesn’t get why Ken wants to do this now when she thought they wanted to wind down. Ken says, “If you wind down… you die. Keep going… Keep moving… Keep your blood working… And you’ll stay healthy.”
Ken wants this tavern ultimately to be handed over to their son, Max. Lisa wonders why they can’t just hand over Villa Blanca or Sur over to him. I think Ken needs a hobby and the dog and pony show at home is not amusing him anymore. He’s also facing his own mortality as is common with anyone who has gone through medical stuff, especially later in life. Ken whispers to Giggy that they will talk Lisa into it… I don’t think Lisa has a chance..
Kathryn tells us that she was born and raised in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and that she’s a Midwest girl through and through. While driving a fabulous vintage Mercedes, her husband, Donnie, is inexplicably clapping and doing a fist pump that his wife is “so fine.” #staged She describes herself as an honest person and if she gives you her word – that’s it. In her opinion, Midwestern girls are wholesome and are the backbone of America. She boasts that her morals and values are “very high” as she’s getting out of the car that her husband just illegally parked next to the red curbing near a fire hydrant. Who does that? It seems that Donnie loves him some red zones (Sorry, gratuitous football reference). Note: The first pic below is of them coasting into where they are going to ultimately park… They didn’t park right in front of the hydrant but a little further down as is shown in the 2nd pic – and clearly, still in the red zone.
They see Stan, Kathryn’s personal jeweler. Kathryn’s been on the show for like 2 minutes and she’s already doing a shameless plug for a friend (Insert eye roll here…). They don’t buy any of the fabulous but crazily expensive ($1 million dollar +) jewelry she tries on. Heck, I can try on jewelry like that and not buy it, too. Moving on…
No, I can’t move on… Who parks in front of a fire hydrant??? Especially during severe drought conditions??? I know parking in LA is a pain… but come the heck on. Can a ticket be given after the fact? Grrrr…
Okay, I’m better now… Thanks for letting me vent.
There are 7 in Eileen’s group who are going to Italy for 2 weeks. I find it odd that Bravo is sending its crew for the 2nd time in one season to Italy. I wonder if Eileen was supposed to go on the original trip when Lisa V and Kyle were there but something happened…
It’s got to be heart wrenching to lose a sibling. Eileen’s sister died over a year ago and Eileen wants to sprinkle part of her ashes over Italy which was a very important place in her sister’s heart. Eileen seems to be dealing with some heavy stuff, because her sister died of breast cancer but purposefully didn’t tell anyone about the seriousness of her prognosis. As result, those who are left behind are kicking themselves with guilt that they weren’t there for her… because they didn’t know the severity of the situation. Her sister likely didn’t want to be a burden on anyone – but this is the unintended consequence. I’m so sorry for her loss.
Okay, you may want to scroll onto the next paragraph because I’m about to ruffle some feathers… When Eileen decides to go out to a beautifully scenic viewpoint and sprinkle her sister’s ashes… She is there alone. I’m not sure why Vince didn’t go with her – that just seems so wonky to me unless Eileen wanted to do this by herself. It’s a very private moment and maybe she just needed some alone time to grieve… EXCEPT THAT SHE’S THERE WITH A CAMERA TEAM.
It takes the genuineness out of the whole thing to me. If you need to have a mentascental moment that doesn’t include your husband… Leave the cameras behind. As it stood, it just really seemed to this viewer like she was doing nothing more than filming a scene for her soap opera – And I don’t think that’s what she intended or what really happened. It’s too bad… And I really DO mostly love “That Tramp” even though she stole my boyfriend. It was just wonky.
Kathyrn vs. Swan
This is OBVIOUSLY Kathryn’s first trip to Villa Rosa (Lisa V’s house) because she bends down to coax Panky over towards her… She didn’t get the memo that these swans tend to bite…lol. Kathryn clues us in that big swans make big piles of poop… I’m sure the mini-horses do, too… And the dogs… And the brontosaurus…
She and Vanderpinky sit down to talk before travelling to Kyle’s house. Lisa, the Inquisitor, begins pummeling Kathyrn with all kinds of questions. I mean literally before Kathyrn can even sit down with her cup of tea, Lisa asks her how old she is. Seriously, who does that? I mean I know they met briefly at Lisa’s event, but come the heck on. She confirms that Kathryn married someone younger, but then pointedly asks her how much younger (8 ½ years). Lisa wants to know what’s that like and if they notice the age difference at all… I thought this questioning was quite abrupt and wonky.
By the way, Katheryn said they don’t notice an age difference… but as someone whose husband is 7+ years younger… that’s bologna. I notice it all the time – but just not in the ways you would think. I think it’s really noticeable when we start talking about technology…
I can remember the smell and sounds of mimeograph machines… I remember using X-acto knives to scratch off the ink lettering to correct mistakes (talk about dangerous, sharp, pointy objects that could KILL you)… His computer games were way more complex than Pong… I took typing in high school on electric typewriters while his classrooms had computers (We did, too – but I think we only had 2 and they were in the library)… And no one went to the high school library unless you HAD to. I always went to the Tustin Library. It was cool. In fact, cool kids STILL go to libraries!
Kyle’s BBQ-less BBQ
Okay, get ready everyone… Cuz the table is being set for another HUGE dinner party from hell. Everyone who walks in comments that they thought it was going to be a BBQ, yet Kyle is all dressed up and there is actually NO BBQ. That’s the oldest trick in the book… Tell everyone that it’s casual and then you come all dressed up desperately trying to look better than everyone else. A REAL hostess would want her guests to feel completely comfortable at her home and would not play these petty games. There’s nothing worse than feeling completely underdressed at a party especially if it’s being filmed. Did I mention that nothing’s being barbequed?
Somewhere in the night, Stars99 mockingly yells at the tv in my best Camille voice, “It’s not a fu**ing BBQ, Kyle!”
Kyle says in her talking head interview that she’s going to stop using the word “BBQ” as if she’s lost some kind of argument. Hey, here’s an idea… If you’re inviting people over for a dinner party… Use the words “dinner” and “party” in the description. If you’re having a BBQ – Serve something that’s actually BBQed. People have killed for less when they’re expecting yummy BBQ and instead are served fussy appetizers and other craptastic things. Okay, I’m sure the meal was yummy… but… yanno…
Kyle asks YoYo about her new position regarding fingernail polish. YoYo remarks that all toxins are bad for her – so that means that she’s no longer wearing fingernail polish, getting her hair dyed, or wearing makeup. Oh… THAT’S why she isn’t wearing makeup… Silly me, I thought that she just wasn’t up to putting it on… Well, that’s very different. I kinda get it… I think it will be hard to live like that especially for a former model… Erika laffs and says, “I’m a corpse walking…”
When Lisa V and Kathryn show up, they have two different responses to Faye’s presence at the party. Lisa is surprised and in later scenes is cranky that Kyle invited Faye and didn’t give her a heads up about it. Kathryn totally expected to meet Faye at some point, since Kyle had clued her in that they were good friends. This was also likely a HUGE reason Kathryn was cast on the show in the first place.
Kathryn tells us again (she did so last week, too) about how Faye alleged in her book there was an affair between Marcus Allen (Kathryn’s fiancé at the time) and Nicole Brown Simpson. Kathryn tells us that though she has never read the book itself, but she’s seen excerpts from it… that Faye mentioned Katheryn by name and said that she knew all about the affair and turned a blind eye to it.
Bravo published a blog by Megan Segura that tells us exactly what was said the book. Evidently, the hullabaloo is all about a quote from in the book from Kris Kardashian Jenner (Yes THAT Kris Kardashian Jenner) – Faye alleges that Marcus first wanted to out with her (before Nicole) and she called her friend Kris Jenner to find out what she should do. Kris said, “Whatever you do, don’t go out with Marcus Allen. He’s the biggest womanizer in the world and don’t forget he’s engaged to Kathryn. She turns a blind eye to his fooling around, but it hurts her when he does it publicly.”
This is REALLY wonky to me because I’m put in the position of defending the morally corrupt Faye Resnick for a split second because SHE wasn’t the one who disparaged Kathryn – it was actually Kris. Isn’t it always a Kardashian’s fault? Lol… Faye just perpetuated it… In a book… That was published only 3 ½ short months after her best friend’s HORRIFIC murder… (Nicole and Ron were murdered on June 12, 1994 and Nicole Brown Simpson: The Private Diary of a Life Interrupted was published on October 1, 1994).
I gotta say that Bravo was brilliant in the timing of airing this episode… Because next Tuesday, (February 2, 2016) FX’s new series, The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story is premiering at 10:00 PM. This series stars John Travolta, Cuba Gooding Jr., Davis Schwimmer, and Sarah Paulson. I have NO idea if it will be good or not – but it’s interesting timing.
Camille is in the house – Could they be hoping for a big blowout between her and the morally corrupt Faye Resnick?
Former models Kathyrn and YoYo talk about their modeling days. They were both of similar “types” and Kathryn says that YoYo was stunning. They name drop Rob Lowe and his 50th birthday party they both attended. That’s the best you could do?
Spoon Rinna & Her Lips asked Vanderpinky if she likes Faye or not – and Vanderpinky said, “Listen, she’s Kyle’s friend… That’s it.” Then Spoon Lisa & Her Lips asked Faye to come over talk to them. She asked Faye how they met… and then Spoon Rinna stirred the pot by asking, “Now, why did you guys have little thing?” meaning, Faye and Vanderpinky… Faye responded that Lisa is very protective and Faye is very protective… Lisa V at the time was protecting Brandi and Faye was protecting Kyle. Lisa V laffed at herself and said, “Which was a great choice.”
Lisa V said that Faye came at her a bit… Faye said she didn’t mean to… but assures Lisa V that SHE doesn’t have any hard feelings. Why would SHE have any hard feelings? She was the attacker in this situation…
Lisa cranked off about it in TH when she talked about women who “have a real go at you” and then just want to “move on.” Of COURSE they do… Don’t we ALL know people like that?
As they all sit down for dinner, Lisa V teases Erika about sitting across the table from her while Kathryn tells us she’s “happy to sit across from Faye.” Did I mention there are place cards so this was all planned?
After Kyle applauded Lisa R for not bringing up Munchausen during her BBQ-less BBQ, Kyle asked a general question, “What’s going on with Anwar’s and Bella’s Lyme disease?” Lisa V said.” I never heard that…..so… ” Spoon Rinna interrupted and asked, “What do you mean you never heard that? Is it true?” Vanderpinky replied, “Well, I don’t know… If she says it’s true… then…”
Spoon 2 – Kyle asked, “What does Mohamed say?” Lisa V responded, “No.” Spoon 2 – Kyle said, “Mohamed said ‘no?’ ” Lisa V responded, “He just said, ‘No – She’s the only one that has it…’ But I don’t want to come between a husband and…” Spoon 2 – Kyle said that he’s not her husband any more, by the way. Lisa V said that he’s one of her best friends. Lisa V clarified that she was just saying that she didn’t know about it – I think she meant she didn’t know that Anwar and Bella also have Lyme disease.
Spoon 2 – Kyle continued stirring by saying, “He doesn’t think they have it?” Lisa V told Kyle that she doesn’t want to get involved. Kyle thinks it’s very simple – either they do have it or they don’t. It doesn’t make sense to her that YoYo is saying one thing and Mohamed is saying another. Kyle turned and told Erika that Mohamed is saying they don’t have it. Lisa V doesn’t want this to blow up… Lisa R asked if the kids have symptoms. Lisa V said that she doesn’t know and then said, “Let’s not talk about her or the kids.”
Erika doesn’t think it matters what other people say about whether or not Yolanda’s children have Lyme disease. She doesn’t understand why they’re questioning this stuff.
Kyle said, “Does he not KNOW they have Lyme disease? Lisa V again said that she doesn’t know and told Kyle she should ask him. Kyle said that she’s not close to Mohamed. Lisa V threatened, “Don’t make me come over there.” Kyle backed down and said, “Okay.” Lisa V said that she’s serious and that she doesn’t want to talk about it. Lisa V encouraged Kyle to have another glass of wine.
Okay… This was as good as I could get… I listened and listened… I may have missed something here or there… Now this is only MY opinion… and I’m sure there are differing ones… But I think at some point Lisa V likely had a conversation with Mohamed about the kids having Lyme disease. At the point they talked, it seemed like Mohamed may have implied he didn’t think they had it… but that was a very, very private conversation that was never supposed to go any further. Or maybe she misunderstood his meaning… Who knows?
Lisa V stepped into some significant craptistic poop. This was a wonky thing to say.
She should have NOT said a word about what Mohamed thinks or doesn’t think. She should know better – especially because it involves kids. Sure Kyle kept pressing on and on about it… like a dog with a bone… but Lisa is the one who opened her mouth and couldn’t gobble the words back in fast enough. If she was misunderstood, she should have stated as such on social media, etc. I hope she writes a blog this week.
Mohamed has made a statement on Instagram which can be accessed at: https://www.instagram.com/p/BBBsb5PFKZB/?taken-by=mohamedhadid
Erika mercifully changed the subject by asking Lisa R if she was showing when she posed for Playboy. Lisa R says she was 6 ½ months pregnant… So yes, she was showing. Kyle asks for a show of hands of everyone who has posed for Playboy. Lisa R has been in it twice, Camille has been in the lingerie section, but not in the main part… and of course we knew Faye posed in it March 1997. She was so NOT happy that Kyle brought it up.
Faye left the table for a moment… Kyle follows… So of course, this means everyone can start talking about Faye behind her back…
Kathryn is asked about what is going on between her and Faye. Kathryn clued them in then said, “Don’t act like you know me when you don’t know me.” Kathryn said that she never read the book. Erika wondered if perhaps Kathryn SHOULD read it… Kathryn responded that she doesn’t need to. In her talking head, Erika said that if someone talked about her in a book and she was going to confront them about it – that she probably would have read what was written. Sounds like a smart thing to do to me… I wouldn’t pay for the book… but I surely would have read what was written…
Kathryn said that there aren’t many people in her life that she has daggers for – but that Faye is one of them. She is ready to throw down. She is ready for a big confrontation and she says she’s the kind of person who ammos herself up. She’s thought about this for 20 years. This is gonna get crazy!
Kathryn started in on Faye once she sat back down at the table. She said that although she’s never met Faye – She feels that she’s being phony if she doesn’t say something and address the elephant in the room. The elephant? Oh, she must mean Faye…
Faye doesn’t think there’s much to say at this point of time. Right – because YOU said your piece in your book. YOU said what you wanted to say in all of those interviews way back when… Kathryn hasn’t taken the opportunity to confront you about it until now… You need to SIT yourself down STFU, Faye.
Kathryn tells Faye she didn’t like that she wrote something about her in a book when she had never even met her. Faye said she has nothing to say to anyone about something that happened 20 something years ago. Kathryn just sat there and looked shocked. She finally said that she didn’t want to sit there and know that Faye and Kyle are good friends and not say anything. She said there was an elephant in the room, for her… Faye doesn’t think she wrote anything “pejorative” or anything about Kathryn…
Then Faye condescendingly said… and THIS is why I despise Faye, “Good, do you feel better?” ARG! Then Faye announced to the table that she doesn’t want to have this discussion since it was such a tough time in all of their lives… And that the conversations should be done in private.
Are you freaking kidding me? You want to talk about it in private??? YOU WROTE A DAMN BOOK ABOUT IT! ($1 for the cussin’ jar)… That’s so wonky it makes my head spin! Then Faye makes a general, “If I’ve done anything to offend anyone – I’m sorry” craptastic apology that is just so danged wonky.
Then Kyle says what an amazing girlfriend Faye is… and I excuse myself and throw up.
Kathryn says, “Well, gosh…” Then either consciously or subconsciously rubs her nose… I kinda think she was making a statement with a gesture…lol.
Wait… This was it? This was IT? We had this entire build up and THIS is all we get?
Wow… This BBQ-less BBQ was actually ALL smoke and no BBQ.
Other Things We Learned from this Episode…
When they first sit down at the table, Kyle’s dog jumps up next to Lisa V with a ball in his mouth… Lisa V playfully puts the ball in Lisa L’s shirt… and vice versa… it was fun…
Kathryn thinks she’s Miss Confrontation – but she really backed down to Faye. It was so disappointing. In addition, there was NO confrontation between Camille and Faye… This was also a letdown and a missed opportunity.
I’d like to see a grudge match between Faye and Erika. Just sayin’.
“If you wind down… you die. Keep going… keep moving… Keep your blood working… And you’ll stay healthy. ” – Ken on why he wants to open up a new restaurant
“I’m a corpse walking…” Erika comments about herself when YoYo goes on an anti-toxin rant about no fingernail polish, no hair dye, etc.
The housewives go burlesque… Sigh… I think Kyle does the splits again… Lisa R talks to YoYo about Munchausen… and Lisa V confronts Kyle about having Faye at the BBQ-less BBQ without giving Lisa a heads up.
That’s it for this week… I hope this is the last we see of Faye.
A girl can dream, can’t she?
Thanks for reading! Happy Trails!