‘Cuz Cheaters Gonna Cheat,
Cheat, Cheat, Cheat, Cheat…
October 18, 2017
Since I’m posting a couple of days later than I originally planned – the penalty for me is that I started writing this just after I watched the Real Housewives of Orange County (RHOC) and Real Housewives of Dallas (RHOD). I watched them back-to-back which really should be against the law.
I’m going to keep to my “Snarkables” plan and every week post observations from the previous week’s episodes. However, I can’t resist including a couple of tidbits from this week in this post just to confuse us all… lol. First up, is Project Runway…
No Matter How You Measure It – It’s STILL Cheating
Tim Gunn is the standard from which I measure the behavior of all reality show mentors, judges, and hosts. He is entertaining… He is a consummate professional… He is an expert in his field… He loves fashion… He genuinely wants contestants to succeed… And he has a good heart… A very good heart.
This week must have been excruciating for him. When the remaining annoying twin, Claire, won this week’s competition all hell broke loose. Fellow designer, Michael, walked off the stage in a huff over it. A little dramatic, yes… but…
The thing is… he knew that Claire had a dirty little secret. She had a tape measure back in her room that she admitted using to measure a tank top and the crotch of a pair of pants during the competition. She wrote the measurement down and ultimately used them in her designs on the show. This is a big, fat “no, no” according to the rules.
Several of her fellow contestants had already been accusing her of stealing copying their designs – but most had no idea about her use of the measuring tape.
It was interesting how it all played out because most of it was in front of the judges. At first, it was thought Michael was mad only because of the alleged design stealing. Everyone on the runway knew about the thievery, so it was clear they had been talking about it for quite a while amongst themselves.
The judges all defended Claire. I think it’s because they know how much everyone steals “inspiration” from each other within the design industry. Heidi said to a contestant who was voicing her gripe about Claire stealing her design, “I mean, you’re not the first one to invent that [peplum design] either. I think you guys all borrow from each other… There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Zac Posen chimed in that the designers should not focus on what other people are doing because it wouldn’t lead them to personal success. I completely rolled my eyes…
This also happened to be the episode that included Yolanda Hadid as a judge. YoYo is a former supermodel, mother of current supermodels, and a former castmember of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Ugh…
In the category of, “Alex, I’d like ‘condescending wingnut’ for $200, please” – Yolanda snottily asked Michael whether he’s a judge on the show or a contestant. Oh puhleeze, YoYo… Sit yourself down… Then stand up and take another seat… Take several seats while you’re at it.
Claire, confused at why people would be so mad at her for using her personal wardrobe as patterns for her designs kept saying, “It was only a tank… It was only a tank.” Well princess, if it was ONLY a tank, then why did you cheat?
After Tim confirmed Claire had the measuring tape and that she had used it on two separate items, he rescinded Claire’s win and sent her home.
I suspect she might have been sent home anyway because she’s so annoying… According to this article in Reality Blurred (One of my favorite websites), Claire is changing her tune and is now saying she didn’t measure anything. Indeed.
Liars gonna lie, lie, lie, lie, lie… And cheaters gonna cheat, cheat, cheat, cheat, cheat…
As you know in fashion, one day minute you’re in… The next day minute you’re out. Carry on!
It seems like a lifetime ago, but last week on the RHOC, Vicki and Tamra meet for a Friendship Summit at a public restaurant. Frankly, I’m surprised there’s even any restaurant left in Orange County that still allows them to dine there during normal hours of operation. Where do they hide the knives?
Vicki expects Tamra to give her a hug and say, “I’m done fighting with you. Put the hatchet down… Let’s be kind to each other.” Vicki wants to get to a place where they can stop being wackadoodle towards each other. The problem is that Vicki IS wackadoodle.
Tamra responds to Vicki, “But I AM kind to you.” Vicki does the universal crazy gesture with her index fingers circling around the side of her head signaling they think you’re batcrapcrazy.
Vicki says, “In your mind you are.” Is it “nice” to call a friend crazy and in the same breath command them to be nice to you? #AskingForAFriend
Vicki insists that Tamra has hurt her and Tamra asks her, “How?” Vicki said that Tamra went after her character and Tamra again asks, “Tell me, how?”
In a loud enough voice that made everyone in the restaurant look askance at them, Vicki blurts, “I’m telling you but you’re interrupting me!”
Like the b*tch she is and knowing she got the desired rise out of Vicki, Tamra quietly and smugly says, “Calm down, Vicki – It’s not a good look.” [With an accent on the “K” on “look.”]
Then Vicki spouts off how Tamra is aligning people against her and attacking her character. Tamra wants Vicki to give an example of what she’s said or done. Vicki can’t, of course… So she pivots and accuses Tamra of bullying her. Vicki needs to seriously STOP using the word “bully” unless she’s recently handed her lunch money over to Tamra.
All you need to know is that it didn’t end well. Victim Vicki is trying to blame everyone but herself for her character being maligned – but she did that all on her own.
You Can’t Take Them Anywhere
I’m really trying hard to watch the Real Housewives of New Jersey this season… but…
Remember in the previous episode we had CakeGate 2017™®©… And surprise, surprise… We are STILL talking about it. The only reason I’m mentioning it here… is because it caused a pretty funny scene this week.
All of the women are still in Boca Raton and Siggy is taking them to her very rich friend’s house. I want to go on record and say I’d love to be adopted by her rich friend. The house and grounds are amazing… But I digress…
As all of the women are standing in front of the door to the mansion, Siggy decides to have a teachable moment with them. She admonishes everyone to behave and to be respectful of her friend’s home… Did I mention her friend was rich?
The hilarious part to me was how everyone got all bent out of shape about Siggy asking them to be respectful. Last week, this same group of women were screaming at each other and throwing cake at each other at a public restaurant. Is it really THAT outlandish to ask them to be considerate of someone’s property?
I think Siggy just doesn’t want to be embarrassed by her “friends” again. I think Siggy has lost her ever lovin’ mind if she thinks this is gonna go well… Because she’s dealing with women who have the maturity level of 7-year-olds… No disrespect intended towards 7-year-olds.
To be fair, they made it through the day without doing too much damage. I think they were all too busy drooling over the sexy lifeguard/swim instructor and the hot tennis coach.
However, once they all sat down for dinner at Siggy’s house in Boca… All bets were off.
The women were still pissed off at Siggy for what she said in the heat of CakeGate 2017™®©… Conveniently, Siggy has selective memory loss about the nasty insults she hurled at all of the other women that night.
Fortunately, Bravo has the footage about it to refresh all of our memories… lol. All you really hafta know is that Siggy thinks she has a higher IQ than everyone else (Which may or may not be true)… That they’re stupid (Stupid is such a harsh word… It may or may not be true… but it’s harsh)… And that they’re all trashy (Now we KNOW that is true)… lol.
After the evening erupts into screaming once again, everyone storms off in a huff.
I believe the meanest insult was hurled by Teresa when she refused to take home a doggie bag of food and instead hissed, “The crab cakes were salty.” OMG OMG OMG… I guess prison food helped refine Teresa’s sensitive palate…
Don’t EVER insult someone’s crab cakes… Am I right?
Zoila Flips Out
Zoila is flipping out about something on this week’s Flipping Out. In other news, water is wet.
I must say that I give Production a big round of applause for using music reminiscent of “Gunfight at the O.K. Corral” to set the stage for this big fight scene. It always amuses me when I notice that someone in Production has a wicked sense of humor… lol.
Throughout the years, Jeff Lewis has always had a constant flow of employees coming and going. I think the majority of people leave because of Jeff’s abrasive personality. However, they have gone through bazillions of nannies for Baby Monroe over the course of only a few months.
Jeff originally thought it was because of Gage’s micromanaging style when it comes to Baby Monroe. He doesn’t seem to think it had anything to do with colicky Baby Monroe’s incessant ear piercing screaming.
The baby sure is adorable but boy, does she have some lungs on her… I think she’s just practicing for when she becomes a teenager… Won’t THAT be fun? Lol…
Nanny Gema, who was once beloved and could do no wrong because of her amazing relationship with Monroe, is now the most recent nanny casualty. Gema seems to have been fired primarily because she kept putting barricades in front of multiple nanny cams.
Gema also seemed to have become very disenchanted with her job. Plus, she wouldn’t respond in a timely way to Gage’s unrelenting barrage of texts.
The day after she left, she sent a scathing email to Jeff and Gage making all kinds of accusations against Zoila. Captain Inappropriate (Jeff) decided to read the entire text to all of the staff and then to hold a mock trial to determine Zoila’s guilt about the whole thing. This was all done on camera… I wonder if he can get into some legal trouble with that? Anyway…
Zoila was found guilty but let’s face it, she’s already serving time in Jeff Lewis’ prison, no? Well actually, in prison they’re allowed to wear cuter outfits.
Everyone was laughing about it except Zoila. Zoila wasn’t laughing. Zoila was packing and threatening to quit for like the 8,428th time. But this time she does… She really, really, really retires. I wonder if this will be the show’s last season…?? How will we live without Zoila?
One of the cutest things in this episode was that we got to see Jenni’s darling 4-year-old daughter, Alianna. Jenni is pregnant with their second child and she wanted to do something special for Alianna. Jenni had an awesome bunk bed built with an actual slide. Can these be made adult-sized? #Asking4AFriend
It’s All Always about the Bag…
One of the things our beloved Zoila had been doing is mercilessly teasing Laura, Jeff’s last remaining domestic goddess/house maintaining extraordinaire. You know… ‘Cuz NO ONE EVER teases anyone at the offices of Jeff Lewis, right?
Evidently, Jeff promised to buy Laura a Louis Vuitton bag. In the past, he’d given a few of them to Zoila. Nice gig, huh? If I cared at all about designer purses I’d want an employer who bought me one, too… lol. Let’s not even talk about the cars, plastic surgery, etc. he’s also bought Zoila.
However, in the end, for whatever reason, Jeff bought Laura a Goyard bag instead. It’s an equally impressive designer purse but without quite the widespread brand recognition. Zoila was treating Laura like Jeff bought her a 2 gallon Ziploc bag or something – no disrespect to Ziploc bags…lol.
The thing is… How can Jeff expect Laura to be able to brag to her friends about getting an expensive bag from her employer if they’ve never even heard of the brand?
Generally, if they don’t carry it at Target – I don’t know about it… lol. However, I did find this “Will Sin for Goyard” tote on Amazon…That’s probably the closest thing to a real Goyard bag that I’m ever gonna get… lol. Ooooo… Goyard has a store on Rodeo – I’ll hafta stop in the next time I’m shopping for overpriced bags…lol.
Hershey’s Has Nothing on This Chocolate… Though Godiva Might…
Last week on the RHOD, Brandi and Stephanie attempted to rescue a dildo they lovingly referred to as, “Sexual Chocolate” from LeeAnne and D’Andra’s hotel room where they believe LeeAnne had hidden it.
In order to get access to the room, Brandi and Stephanie con a hotel employee into believing it’s their hotel room by doing a hysterical impression of LeeAnne and D’Andra. Brandi routinely does these kinds of impressions and they are THE best.
The hotel employee gladly hands a key over to them. Unfortunately, he probably also just handed his job over to them because it’s all caught on camera. I think it made all of us a little freaked out at how easy it is to gain access to our hotel rooms, no? Hopefully, this was all just a set up and no job (or chocolate) was harmed in the process.
What a Blockhead
On Survivor during the immunity/reward challenge, one of the things they had to do was to throw sandbags at a ledge stacked with heavy blocks to knock them down.
The problem was that the ever annoying Patrick was not very successful at it and seemed to become extremely exhausted as the completion wore on. However, he was too much in hyper-competition he-man mode than to allow any of his teammates to tag in for him.
Did I mention they were all screaming at him to let someone else have a chance?
This was a stupid move on his part. He was totally screwing up the challenge. It’s not like he had found his rhythm or anything. Plus, they actually had a ringer on their team… Now I admit that Lauren is not especially great at many challenges, but this one was perfectly suited for her success.
Lauren had previously told her team that she played centerfield for the last 25 years. For the non-sports fans amongst us, that probably means she has amazing aim and a holy cow strong arm. You see, she would have to… When you play centerfield, you’re frequently required to quickly hurl the ball from way back in the outfield to an infield player in order to make an out.
Later, Patrick said, “I don’t think that her coming in for me would have changed much.” How do you know, Patrick? Surely she couldn’t have done any worse than you… Plus, it’s so short-sighted not even to let her – or even someone else – try. Congratulations… Now you get FULL blame for blowing the challenge.
I dunno how much of it was a male/female Neanderthal thing and how much of it was pure arrogance on his part. The result was they lost the challenge. Period. Plus, Patrick ended up pissing off most of his tribemates in the process.
I will hasten to say that Lauren was also busy pissing off people… She managed to insult the entire ginger community around the world when she said, “I’ve never believed a redhead a day in my life.”
Holy broad generalization alert, Batman! Who says that crap? Who believes that crap?
At that point, I prolly would have been attempted to put non-permanent red hair dye in her shampoo container… Allegedly…
The Best Quote of the Week
One of my least favorite new housewives of all time, Kameron Westcott, from the RHOD, had my favorite quote of the week.
Brandi hosted a fabulous winter white party event. However, much to snobby Kameron’s dismay, she served beverages in clear plastic cups. Kameron snootily complained about it while trying not to dislodge the large stick up her dupa.
At one point the cast separated themselves from the rest of the party and sat around a dining room table. Unfortunately, they were now drinking out of big girl glasses while they were screaming at each other. Yawn.
LeeAnne was channeling her inner Lisa Rinna when in the heat of the argument she purposefully and threateningly broke a wine glass. Of course she did… Overdramatic, much? Lol. However, no table was flipped that we saw.
Suddenly, the light went on in Kameron’s otherwise vacant head. She looked at Brandi and astutely concluded, “THIS is why you have plastic.”
I completely died laughing… Seriously…
The other thing of note about Kameron is that she actually has moved forward with her pink dog food idea. You know, because dogs care that their kibbles are heart-shaped, pink, and sparkly. I kid you not… lol… #DogsAreMostlyColorBlind
Here’s the link to her website: https://www.sparkledogfood.com/
Other Snarkable Reality Show Moments
- On Survivor, Patrick openly searched for the hidden immunity idol in front of the rest of his tribe. People freaked out over it. I do think it’s silly to be so blatantly obvious about searching for it. However, I think if I were on Survivor, I would go in assuming that EVERYONE would actively look for the hidden immunity idol every chance they got, right? I mean, if you don’t look for it, then YOU, not Patrick, are the blockhead in this situation.
- Upon being voted off the island, Patrick stood up and glared at the members of his tribe. As he left, he mumbled, “You guys are awful.” In his post-tribal confessional, he said, “I hope you guys don’t have a very successful game because you’re liars and it really hurts me that you would not keep your word.” Really, Patrick? You’re shocked people lied to you on Survivor? Now, THAT’S funny… Clearly you’ve never watched a single episode or else you would have seen Production’s foreshadowing footage of snakes slithering around during every single episode.
- On The Voice, they are making a big deal about how Miley Cyrus’ team is the first all-female team they’ve ever had. I will say that I don’t think she planned it that way… it just kind of happened somewhere along the line.
I’m really cranky about this situation because it has given the women contestants an unfair advantage of being selected over their male counterparts. This week, as they moved forward into the Battle Rounds, it continued to give females an unfair advantage to stay IN the competition.
Unless she changes her strategy, Miley is also likely to only use her “SAVES” on females about to be eliminated. And don’t give me that, “Well, men have ALWAYS had an unfair advantage over women throughout history” crap…
In the end, don’t we want the person with the best voice to win without any kind of gender consideration? They should win it fair and square or else it diminishes the shine on the win, no?
That’s it for this week’s “Snarkables” post… Thanks so much for reading! I must say that I’m enjoying writing a little about a lot of different shows… This way, I’m not forced to try to make the boring parts more interesting… It was eating away too many of my brain cells.
If you have any suggestions about anything, please don’t hesitate to comment or send me a message through the form at the bottom of this page, through FB, or through Twitter.
Ya’ll be safe, now, okay? Happy Trails!
Video of the Week
The ousting of Survivor’s blockhead, Patrick, started me thinking of my own all-time favorite blockhead. Of course it’s none other than Charles Schultz’s genius creation – Charlie Brown.
This week we received the unfortunate news that Charles Schultz’s Santa Rosa home was burned to the ground in the horrible wildfires that are raging throughout California. Miraculously, his 78-year-old widow, Jean, was able to escape the flames before they hit.
They happily lived together in the home for over 20 years. Charles died there in 2000.
While most of his original artwork and memorabilia are currently housed safely at the Charles M. Schulz Museum and Research Center in Santa Rosa, one can only imagine the irreplaceable treasures that were forever lost in the fire.
This YouTube video was posted by Decoyoctopusra entitled, “Charlie Brown: Kiss Her, You Blockhead!” Enjoy!
The “’Cuz Cheaters Gonna Cheat, Cheat, Cheat, Cheat, Cheat” post title was inspired by Taylor Swift’s song as referenced below:
Swift, Taylor. “Shake It Off.” Album: 1989. Label: Big Machine Records, LLC. Songwriters: Taylor Swift, Max Martin Shellback and Karl Johan Schuster. Producer: Max Martin Shellback. 2014.
“Wildfire Burns Home of ‘Peanuts’ Creator Charles Schulz.” www.apnews.com. October 12, 2017. Accessed on October 16, 2017 at:
Andy Dehnart. “Claire Backtracks about Project Runway Tape Measure Usage.” www.realityblurred.com. October 17, 2017. Accessed on October 18, 2017 at: https://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/2017/10/claire-project-runway-tape-measure/
All photos are video screenshots of the episodes or videos related to the episodes that can be accessed at: www.bravotv.com. Thanks, Bravo!