Dear Bravo –
We have been avid Bravo viewers for years. We’ve always eagerly looked forward to many of your shows with great anticipation. We even had fun blogging about them… Sadly, that has all changed.
Recently, we have been disappointed in the quality of some of our favorite shows. For the purposes of this letter, we’ll focus mainly on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (RHOBH).
Come on… What the heck happened?
This year’s RHOBH was a complete snoozefest. Watching it was better than any sleeping aid money can buy. On the plus side, it does cure insomnia. As such, it could probably qualify as a public service to insomniacs – but it’s doubtful that causing viewers to fall asleep is one of the goals of airing your programming.
You can do better. We viewers deserve better.
Heck, the first few episodes of this season’s Real Housewives of New York is already infinitely more interesting than the entire last two seasons of RHOBH and Real Housewives of Orange County combined.
Here are some of the problems, as we see it – Please know our intent is not to call for the firing of anyone – We just want a better program… Don’t you? To that end…
Please know that it insults our intelligence when you use something that Production is fully in charge of (like a housewife’s arrival time for an event) and then use her tardiness as a major storyline for the entire season. Puhleeze.
We know it puts the tardy housewife in the hot seat without a reasonable explanation through no fault of her own.
We know that being on this show IS their actual job – so if they were consistently THAT late and always held up Production as is being portrayed – they would and should have been fired for costing everyone so much lost time and money.
We are not idiots.
Speaking of idiots or those who play one on TV… Something’s got to be done about Dorit The Twit (pronounce “Dorit” so it rhymes with Twit – it’s fun, try it!). She’s become unbearably unwatchable. She needs an entire persona change if she continues on this show.
Her pretentious snobbery is just too much because much like her imitation English accent and her continuously overly-displayed boobage – it’s all fake. If she was genuinely pretentious – or even had reason to be pretentious it would be one thing.
But Dorit wears a danged Gucci fanny pack around the house. Who does that? Guccio Gucci’s descendants probably don’t even do that… It’s laughable, really – if only it wasn’t so sad. Nice job on the gratuitous product placement, though.
Oh and there’s that whole drinking champagne out of the wrong glass issue. Seriously? How did THIS ever become a storyline? We ALL know that Dorit The Twit would be happy to drink champagne out of ANY glass that’s available – and probably even a shoe or two.
It wouldn’t be surprising at all if she used red Solo cups “whilst” drinking at home… With her pinkie extended… And “whilst” wearing 127 bedazzled bobby pins in her hair
Note: The pretentious use of “whilst” was intentional though it did make us gag a little… Speaking of “gagging a little” – Camille’s gift of a ball gag to Dorit The Twit was hilarious!
It’s Dorit’s entire shtick of telling half-truths or outright lying grates on our nerves. She constantly twists what everyone says into her own nonsensical agenda. She perpetually rewrites history until it no longer even vaguely resembles what actually happened.
It’s almost amusing to watch her argue with people because she just parrots back insult for insult. She often can’t even come up with her own words and instead just uses the words that were first hurled at her.
It’s holy cow frustrating to watch. It is not fun. People are fast forwarding through her scenes – which is probably not good news for your advertisers.
It’s like she’s badly acting in a 6th grade elementary school production playing a caricature of someone who is “pretend” rich. No offence to 6th graders.
Speaking of a caricature… What in the heck happened to Erika?
It’s like she’s been taken over by a zombie Tupperware mannequin Stepford-wife Pinocchio apocalypse.
This season, Erika was loud, aggressive and abrasive. It’s true there are times the “F” word is the only appropriate word that can be used in a particular situation…But using the “C” word… Never… And the “F” word being used in every single conversation? Oh HELL no!
We will say that it is momentarily amusing to see what Erika is going to wear next since she uses each scene in this show like she’s going to a costume party. Perhaps she has to substantiate her $40,000 a month clothing, makeup, hairstyling, latex, and accoutrement budget somehow.
Erika gives the impression that she’s always the most important person in the room, that her opinion is the only one that matters, and that she gives no F*cks about anyone or anything else but herself. She’s wrong.
She does give a f*ck… She actually gives several f*cks.
Erika is at her best when she owns who she is… When she doesn’t play the victim… And when her temper doesn’t go from 0 – 280 mph in 1.3 seconds.
Why, oh why did you subject viewers to 2+ episodes talking about Erika’s menstrual cycle? It was ludicrous! It’s ridiculous for this show to talk about ANYONE’s menstrual cycle… Honest!
It was also wonky that Erika, who shamelessly wears a necklace that says, “C*nty” pretended to be so danged embarrassed about saying she was having a tough menstrual cycle.
Wait… We’ve learned NOT to use the word “pretend” when talking about Erika, otherwise she’ll instantly attack us like a rabid b*tch fighting for some kibble.
This is a woman who we’ve seen naked more often than our spouses. She gyrates and unabashedly bends over spread eagled to expose her boobs and nether parts seemingly at every opportunity.
We applaud her confidence to dance however she wants to dance while wearing whatever the heck she wants to wear (or not wear)… She’s just wildly inconsistent in how she reacts to situations.
It is also really off-putting when Erika looks bored in her scenes like she doesn’t want to be there. It’s like we’re interrupting and inconveniencing her life to do this show. Her “I’m bored with all of this” demeanor during the Reunion Shows was disrespectful and laughable.
The viewers are the ones who are bored with this show – but if you pay each of us a six figure income like Erika is paid – I promise you that we’ll perk right up.
In addition, Erika is so narcissistic and is a little too big for her britches now that she has taken it upon herself to try and destroy perhaps the most “real” of all of the real housewives – Teddi.
Teddi was the one redeeming breath of fresh air this season. Of all of the housewives, Teddi holds herself the most accountable for her words and actions. It’s a good thing, too, since she’s an “accountability coach” and all… Whatever that means… lol.
Teddi didn’t have a perfect first season – but she had a far better season than everyone else in the show combined.
Rinna totally phoned in her season… though she remains the funniest of all of the housewives. It’s hilarious when she laughs a little too hard at her own jokes in her well-rehearsed talking head interviews.
Though many have a love/hate relationship with her – she can be the spark that ignites the entire show.
But Lisa and Her Lips needs to kick it in gear. STAT!
All of the other women had a mediocre season at best.
The show is most enjoyable when the women are having way too much fun for words in whatever they’re doing.
We Need to See More Of…
- Kyle and Vanderpinkie (and other friendship pairings) having fun as friends…
- Small groups of the women traveling to fun places while respecting the culture of the country – Too often they are a total embarrassment to us because they are so rude in public places…
- The harsh realities of doing hands-on charity work and how they pick the charities they choose to support…
- Real behind-the-scenes scenarios derived from owning their own businesses – not the made-up crap we saw this season… For example, when PK completely changed the name and the fabrics of Dorit’s swimsuit collection while Dorit was away on a weekend trip. As IF we’re supposed to believe that’s how it all came down… Puhleeze…
- More of what goes into the production decisions of the shows Kyle is involved in – from the writing, to the casting, to the shooting… to the editing, etc…
- The women doing whatever women of their ilk actually do…
- Fine dining at exclusive or secret places we peasants wouldn’t otherwise have access to – not these endless lunches at the neighborhood Denny’s (No disrespect for Denny’s)…
- Shopping for horrendously expensive items they buy for themselves or as gifts to others… and,
- We need more Camille.
We Need to See Less Of…
- Contrived storylines we’ve seen a million times before…
- Huge fights about stupid little things…
- Production’s hand in creating drama… and,
- Scenes that insult viewers’ intelligence.
If you don’t believe the contents of this letter… you only have to read the comments on social media. So many people are horribly disappointed and annoyed with this show…
We need you to do much better next season. You’re losing us… You’ve already lost so many loyal viewers…
Sandy “Starzy” and Reality_Bytes
Two Disappointed but Eternally Optimistic Bravo Viewers