Real Housewives of Orange County (RHOC)
“One Apology, Another Betrayal” – S13/E2
AKA: “Vicki Is Still UnBEARable”
I have a confession to make… Last week I was caught unprepared for the Real Housewives of Orange County to start this season. I was both emotionally and physically unprepared for the premiere. Why can’t it be like Halley’s Comet so we only hafta watch it once every 74-79 years? Asking4AFriend
I neglected to order a case of Imodium, Pepto-Bismol, 23 TVs (As weekly replacements for the one I will likely throw out the window) and an orange hazmat suit. Thank God for Amazon Prime – I should get them in 2 days.
Okay… So the deal is this… If I’m gonna hafta watch this… Then ya’ll are gonna hafta hang in there with my rantings about it, okay? Lol… We can get through this together!
Before we start, I hafta come clean on my own personal negative bias… I am not a fan of Vicki Gunvalson. I will never be a fan of Vicki Gunvalson. I don’t wish ill on her – She just makes my skin crawl. You can’t lie about your boyfriend having cancer and expect me NOT to despise your actions.
Okay… So this week’s episode was almost completely Vicki-centric which would normally have made me nauseated. However, since Vicki was shown in a negative light – I found some perverse joy with it all. I’m not proud of it – it’s just how I felt.
She’s NOT Smarter than the Average Bear
First of all, what the HECK was Vicki wearing when she met up with Tamra and Eddie for lunch? It was the top half of a bear costume, right? She must have been on her way to her 2nd job.
I honestly had NO idea Vicki has hired herself out to play Yogi Bear for children’s parties.
Seriously… There is absolutely NO NEED to wear a jacket of a fur-like substance in Orange County… EVER! It never gets THAT cold. It’s ridiculous on several levels and it makes you look like a complete dunderhead. Stop it!
Earlier, in keeping with the Yogi Bear theme, Vicki sent her version of a “pic-a-nic basket” to Eddie and Tamra’s house out of the blue. Well, to be fair – it was after Eddie’s ablation surgery. As the delivery guy handed the plastic bags over to Eddie when he answered the door, he merely said, “Vicki sent you guys food.” Period.
The bomb squad was immediately called.
Okay, so generally, I’m all for sending people food… You know, when the people you’re sending it to actually like you. Perishables from an enemy are always suspect, no? Heck, the Royals always had taste testers for just this occasion.
Maybe taste testing could be yet another job for Vicki… Conveniently, she could prolly do it while wearing her Yogi Bear costume, no?
Tamra laughingly teased Eddie when he wouldn’t eat the food by saying he probably thought it was poisoned or something.
Wow, imagine that… Eddie IS smarter than the average bear. (Another gratuitous Yogi Bear joke… lol)…
I admit I used to have my doubts about that since he’s married to Tamra – though arguably, she has recently grown on me a bit… but just a bit.
Meanwhile, back at the heartfelt lunch between Eddie, Tamra and Vicki that was totally staged…
Vicki apologized to Eddie for spreading rumors over several seasons that he’s gay and for other crap I don’t want to get into at the moment. I kinda hate these dramatic apologies ‘cuz ya know, the magic words “I’m sorry” is supposed to conjure up insta-forgiveness, right?
It doesn’t work like that – While forgiveness itself may be freely given, there are still repercussions to what we do and say. Whilst Vicki’s biblically-driven apology seemed genuine and heartfelt… Eddie’s right when he says that it will take a while to be able to trust Vicki again.
Some of us will never trust Vicki again. Never. There are lines in the sand that once they’re crossed – they cannot be uncrossed.
Speaking of not trusting Vicki…
All Smoke and No BBQ
Vicki and Kelly are fighting…
Vicki and her boyfriend Steve, (#RunSteveRun) had a BBQ and invited Kelly’s ex-husband, Michael. Okay, let’s stop right there. Why would Vicki do that? Why would she want to invite Michael to a BBQ while excluding her BFF Kelly? She didn’t even tell her about it… Who does that?
I understand that Steve may have struck up a friendship with Michael over the last couple of years… but…
Sorry Steve, unfortunately Kelly got custody of you and Vicki in the divorce. Full custody.
Michael can have supervised visits with you guys if Kelly agrees to it beforehand – this is for your own safety. We’ve ALL seen footage of Kelly going all batcrapcrazy when she’s cranky.
Kelly got custody because her relationship with Vicki is pivotal to their ongoing employment on this show.
So, Kelly’s ex (Michael) goes to this BBQ and meets an available friend of Vicki’s. Wait, what? Vicki has a friend? I thought it was a stretch that she had her one friend, Kelly – but we know that was only because of the show… Now we find out she has another friend? It’s been way too hot for hell to have frozen over, right?
Therefore, pigs must be flying somewhere… (Insert Pink Floyd flying pig reference here)…
Okay, okay, here’s the story… Since this episode aired in July, if you go back 4 months, it easily brings us back to February/ March for when the BBQ originally happened, right? Am I thinking that through, correctly? I usually don’t do math on Wednesdays.
I want to know the reason for the BBQ. Were they celebrating someone’s birthday? Vicki’s b’day is March 27 – but why would they invite Michael and not Kelly to Vicki’s b’day BBQ? Were they celebrating President’s Day?
Please tell me they weren’t celebrating a friend’s recent divorce by inviting several eligible “friends” over to meet him… Please tell me Vicki wouldn’t do something like that to her BFF… ‘Cuz Vicki could NEVER do something like that, right? Right? RIGHT? Ugh… I hope I’m wrong…
Anyhoo… Michael met someone at Vicki’s BBQ and started dating her. In addition, by her own admission, Vicki and Steve have gone on “double dates” with Michael and this new girlfriend.
The problem is NOT that Michael has a new girlfriend. Even Kelly herself specifically expressed to Vicki that she hoped that he would find someone nice to date.
IMO… The problem is this: Vicki didn’t tell Kelly anything about anything and Kelly had to find out about the whole scenario from others.
Vicki COULD have…
1) Told Kelly about the BBQ when it happened and that Steve wanted to invite Michael – and did Kelly have any problems with that… Kelly would have absolutely said, “No problem.” She loves Michael – they’re just not a good match;
2) Vicki could have said something to Kelly when she found out one of her friends from the BBQ was dating Michael as kind of a girlfriend’s “heads-up” – Kelly would have likely been happy to hear he’s dating again so it would have taken some of the guilt off of her;
3) Phoned Kelly when she or Steve decided they wanted to go on a double date with Michael and his new girlfriend… I suspect Kelly might not have been so eager for this to happen… I mean… Who goes on double dates with your friend’s ex-husband and his new girlfriend? Oh, right… Vicki… VICKI would do that kind of thing… See… This is the 4,274,094th reason I detest Vicki’s behavior; and,
4) Vicki could have texted Kelly at ANY point during the ensuing 4 months – Vicki could have placed a call to Kelly. But no… Kelly has to find out about all of this crap from other people.
Vicki says it wasn’t her place to tell Kelly about it – that it was Michaels’ job. Ummm… no. What person tells their ex that they’re dating again unless they’re trying to be a jerk about it?
You generally don’t talk to your ex-wife about the specifics of your dating life. That’s one subject that is usually not great for exes to talk about – especially when the divorce is so fresh.
I think the exception may be if the other spouse is already happily in a relationship of their own – otherwise, it just seems like you’re rubbing salt into a wound.
You know who tells a person their ex is dating again? A friend. A FRIEND would do that – A friend would tell them she’s heard he’s dating someone even if the ex did NOT meet his new girlfriend at her BBQ …
A FRIEND wouldn’t even consider going on a double date with the new couple unless she got clearance from her BFF.
This is NOT girl code… It’s common decency.
But the truth of the matter is that Vicki has now made up with Tamra so she no longer needs Kelly as a friend. Vicki screwed the only friend she’s had for the last couple of seasons on this show who would actually film with her. Remember, Vicki has been a pariah on this show.
And no, Vicki’s adult daughter, Briana, doesn’t count as someone who would film with her – she HAD to as her daughter – Plus, even Briana has moved all the way to the east coast to get away from Vicki. See, even Briana is smarter than the average bear.
We have two new girls on the cast this year. Remember, they got rid of Meghan, Lydia, and Peggy from last season. So this is a major cast shake up…
It’s always hard in the beginning to keep the new kids straight…
Emily Simpson – She’s a wife, a mom to 3 and a stepmom to 2, and an attorney. In her spare time she does some party planning. Clearly, she’s busy. She confesses she doesn’t cook much but her husband seems to help her out in doing the day-to-day stuff.
She grew up in Ohio (which already makes me love her) and she hasn’t always been well-to-do. She tried several times (including in vitro fertilization) to get pregnant but had several miscarriages. Her last one, involved twins that she lost in the 4th month. So devastating…
That’s when Emily’s superhero sister stepped up to the plate and volunteered to be their surrogate for ALL 3 KIDS! OMG OMG OMG… That, my friends, is love… How kewl is that? Seriously… I have goosebumps just typing this…
Her husband is a Mormon, but she is not. That’s not usually something the Latter Day Saints do too often. I’m kind of intrigued by that… She and her husband had an awkward anniversary dinner wherein she pressured him into having another daughter since she has several female embryos ready and waiting…
I think Emily is a little stiff right now during filming – but we must remember it’s not a natural thing for a normal person to have a camera in their face. She will get better. I hope I continue to like her…
Gina Kirschenheiter – The minute you hear Gina speak you know she’s from Long Island. I love it. I love accents. When I grow up I want to have an accent. That’s assuming, of course, that I actually grow up at some point… lol.
She has 3 kids under 5 and they’re a handful. One of them likes to play hide and seek – but usually at inopportune times. I was that kid, too.
Her husband works in the financial sector but has to commute to Los Angeles. They’re saying it’s “northern” Los Angeles… lol. No one living here says “northern LA.” I will say that Los Angeles is HUGE… and traffic is horrible. It could easily be a commute of 2+ hours each way from Orange County to LA. It’s not fun to be on the road for 4 hours a day.
So… Gina’s husband stays in LA during the week and comes home on weekends. Many successful marriages do work-arounds like that because traffic is a big fat pain in the neck.
Gina refers to herself as kind of a “single parent.” I cringe whenever I hear that… I realize she’s home with her kids without another parent helping 5 days a week… However, that does not make you a single parent. A single parent is exactly what it says… A parent who is single.
Gina has a husband who provides for his family so that she can stay home with the kids. A single parent usually has no such provision… And even if they do – through a divorce settlement – it’s usually woefully inadequate.
Unfortunately, there are rumors going around they have already filed for divorce. I hope that’s not true…
Things That Made Me Laugh
- Vicki told Tamra and Eddie to keep THEIR voices down while they were at the restaurant. Puhleeze… Vicki is a walking megaphone who causes embarrassment to everyone within a 100-mile radius.
- New girl, Gina’s kids had a broccoli eating contest while at the dinner table. On one hand, this idea is absolute brilliance… I’m so danged competitive I would have choked that evil green stuff down my throat as a kid just to win. However, on the other hand, I hope everyone knows how to do the Heimlich maneuver on themselves if they happen to choke or gag on it.
- Vicki cited Deuteronomy (Old Testament) as a basis for her apology to Eddie. Huh? Frankly, I’m surprised Vicki could even pick up a Bible without it bursting into flames (I kid, I kid). I love it that Vicki is searching scriptures for guidance on how to live her life, but Vicki didn’t hafta search any further than the Golden Rule – “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” Matthew 7:12… Plus, don’t even get me started on 1 Corinthians 13…
- Shannon’s ex-husband, David, sent Shannon and their daughters to Mexico on a trip. While I think it’s kewl for David to want to send the daughters to Mexico on a trip – But why didn’t he take them himself? Oh right, it’s because he wanted to take his girlfriend to Colorado, allegedly…lol. Some people never change…
- Poor Shannon hadta downsize into a 4,000 square foot house with a bathroom the size of Indiana. I weep for her… lol. I’m honestly rooting for her, too. I think being married to David made her a stark raving lunatic. It made me one by just watching the show. I know you think I’m kidding… but…
- Vicki is badgering Steve to officially move in with her. He kind of already is – but much to Vicki’s chagrin – he hasn’t changed his mailing address yet and has maintained his other residence. Vicki keeps pressuring him to marry her every chance she gets. Why doesn’t he have the good sense to run away? In other news, Vicki told him it would make her happy if he took the skin off her fish. <Insert gratuitous eye roll here> Is it considered cannibalism if Vicki ate a dead, scaly fish? #Asking4TheHalibut
Okay, that’s it for this week for the RHOC… See? I KNEW we could get through it together! Lol… I know there are some of you who like Vicki… and I get it… on some level… and I respect your opinions.
Perhaps Vicki will pleasantly surprise me and be angelic this season… Wait, that’s too much expectation. I would love it if she could act in such a way that wouldn’t make me want to throw my TV out my window every week.
Thanks so much for reading! I appreciate it! See you next time… Which might be in the next 2-3 days after tonight’s explosive Real Housewives of New York episode. I think it’s the boat crisis episode… So it should be good!
Video of the Week
Since we talked a lot about bears, this week – I thought these hilarious videos would be appropriate. There are 3 parts to this video – but you really only need to start with Part ll… It stops abruptly – but just know the bears are all completely okay… Part lll shows it to you…
I personally think the pool manufacturer should use Part lll as part of their marketing campaign. That pool withstood soooOOooo much… but I don’t want to give anything away… lol. I know these videos are longer than normal – but they’re hilarious… Totally worth the time to watch…
YouTube video posted by Tim Basso entitled, “A bear family takes a dip in our pool – Part II.” Enjoy!
Here is Part l for all you die hards… It was filmed kind of wonkily… but they soon figured it out and that’s why we have the incredible gems that are Parts ll and lll. You can access Part 1 at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCpi_IzAP28
All photos are video screenshots of the episodes or videos related to the episodes that can be accessed at: www.bravotv.com. The group shot is from the RHOC’s Facebook page – that can be accessed at: https://www.facebook.com/RealHousewivesofOrangeCounty/ Thanks, Bravo!