Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (RHOBH)
“Eat Your Heart Out” – S9/E2
AKA: “I Might Have a House in Tahoe…
I don’t Remember.”
Remember Last Week…
We laughed at their taglines… We were introduced to Lucy the dog who was rescued and is unwittingly likely to be a large thread of this season’s storyline – This may result in Vanderpinkie being unwilling to participate in most of the filming…. We’re introduced to newbie cast member Denise Richards who has been friends with Lisa & Her Lips for years… We also met a “Charcuterie Expert.”… Oh, and there was goat yoga. I hope there’s goat yoga on tonight’s episode, too. You can’t have too much goat yoga, right?
Pass the Laughing Gas, Please
One of the saddest things about this season is that we’ve already heard on social media about various destroyed relationships and residual resentments that occurred while filming. We were given a couple of previews last week as glimpses to what transpires during the rest of the season. It doesn’t look pleasant ‘cuz Vanderpinkie threw Kyle out of her house.
We don’t really know what happened or why – though there has been a crazy amount of speculation on it already. I want to see it unfold… and take it as it comes – but I admit I’m exhausted already.
Kyle and Vanderpinkie have appointments at a center that helps one “freshen up” as they are prone to do in Beverly Hills. They laughed and talked about vaginal rejuvenation as they drove. I love their friendship – even if it’s a Hollywood friendship just for filming.
I wince a bit ‘cuz I suspect it’s one of the last times we’ll see Kyle and Lisa laugh like this with each other. Grrrr….. I just know this season is gonna piss me off… lol.
Once at the Center, Vanderpinkie was given some laughing gas because she was gonna get some injections in her neck to make her neck look younger. The laughing gas worked like a charm. Within seconds she was laughing and slipping out of the chair.
However, the guy was using a ginormous needle to perform the procedure while she was squirming around like she had ants in her Vanderpants.
Personally, I don’t like needles at all – especially the kind that look long enough to hold like 14 gallons of fluid in them. I also don’t like sharp, pointy objects that close to my jugular.
The guy didn’t seem too concerned with how much laughing gas Lisa was inhaling or that she offered some to Kyle. Can someone inhale too much laughing gas? #Asking4AVanderpump
Snake! Snake! I See a Snake!
No, no, no, silly, I’m NOT talking about seeing Dorit The Twit… although you know… if the snakeskin fits…
Lisa & Her Lips and Teddi go on a hike up in the hills. There was a HUGE rattlesnake slithering up the trail next to the path. Ugh…
I remember when I moved here to Orange County when I was 12 I was terrified there were rattlers here – My Mom attempted to console me by saying, “Don’t worry – the snakes are way more afraid of you than you are of them.” Right… Wanna bet?
Lisa and Teddi leisurely sit on a wooden bench and start casually talking about Teddi’s life – as if they didn’t JUST see a snake that could swallow them whole! Even if both women were eaten together – they would only be an appetizer for this snake…
Why are their feet still on the ground, dagnabit! My feet would be up on the bench for sure!
Teddi described how at 21, she originally thought she’d like to go into entertainment industry by either acting or singing (Remember who her Daddy is…lol). She went on some auditions and got a pilot – but was told by her agent that she had to lose weight, or she’d lose the job.
As you can imagine, that screwed with her self-esteem. Teddi wanted to be accepted as herself – just the way she was. That rejection catapulted her into a significant weight gain.
It’s clear her work as an accountability coach is important to her because of what transpired in her own life. She passionately wants to help people get on the other side of their weight issues.
I know that I have given Teddi grief over her job – ‘cuz “Accountability Coach” just sounds so… ummm… well, it sounds like a scam, to be honest. However, if it’s benefitting people in a positive way… who am I to judge? Lol… Well, let’s be real… I’ll STILL judge… but maybe not quite as harshly.
Lol… Who am I kidding?
Another Weighty Issue
Over the last year, Lisa & Her Lips’ daughter, Amelia, revealed to people through social media that she was suffering from anorexia nervosa. Let that sink in for a moment.
She seems to be processing through it and is not as thin as she used to be. She also has a huge heart to help others battling it. She told her Mom she saw a mother and daughter who were suffering from it earlier that day and felt compelled to do something about it.
I love this kid.
Lisa told us in her talking head interview that she’s never battled with anorexia. Her job makes her hyper weight conscious, though.
We’ve seen how Lisa gets razzed all the time about how thin she is. Jokes are made about not eating – or that she should eat a hamburger, etc. It must be as frustrating for thin people to have skinny jokes constantly tossed their way as it is for heavier people.
Here’s the thing… it seems like thinness runs in Amelia’s family… Plus, she lives in superficial Beverly Hills where looks are everything… She’s a teenager… and is in the modeling industry.
How can she NOT have body issues?
I have no idea what kind of part, if any, that her parents played in helping her deal with her body issues – but I’m so thankful she had a soft place to land. They seem to really love their kids, that’s for sure. I can say lots about Rinna (and I do) but she loves and adores her kids.
Karen Carpenter, one of my favorite singers of my childhood, tragically died of complications from anorexia in 1983 at the age of 32. Up until then, I had never even heard the word “anorexia.” Her death was a catalyst for a generation of people to learn about this devastating disease and its warning signs.
By the way… Her brother, Richard, the other member of the “Carpenters” has recently remixed their most popular songs. He arranged, conducted, and produced a new album featuring Karen’s original vocals paired with The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra.
It’s so danged kewl. I might get in trouble if I post the actual music video here – but here’s the link you can copy and paste to hear “Superstar” on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGrLUavvkIA
It’s a Small, Small World
Please don’t cuss me out since you won’t be able to get that song out of your head… lol… although I do deserve it…
Denise Richards is oddly connected to Lisa Rinna. They’ve been friends for years – but there are also other things they have in common. Here – I drew a chart for you as a visual help:
By the way – Denise and her boyfriend got married last September after his divorce was finalized – just as they have said all along. We’ll hafta wait to find out if we get to see any of their wedding this season… You never know…
They are living happily ever after in a 4-bedroom house in Malibu. The picture above is the view from their back patio. I’m so jealous I can’t even see straight.
Things That Made Me Laugh
- Two words: Laughing Gas
- Erika said that she eats dessert every day of her life because it’s one of the things that really brings her pleasure… I love how she does so unapologetically.
- Erika may or may not have a house in Lake Tahoe – She’s not sure. They own lots of houses she’s never visited. She does, however, know that she has 2 houses in Palm Desert – one is right near Kyle’s house… I wonder what other things rich people forget they have… The number of off-shore bank accounts… The number of ex-wives… The number of cars they have… The number of accountants and lawyers on their payroll… lol
- Evidently, Charlie Sheen (Denise’s Ex-husband) used to get cranky when the TP roll was loaded incorrectly. This makes me laugh because we’ve had wars on FB debating if it’s “over” or “under.” I suspect it might be tricky to locate the TP end when you’re tipsy and it’s hung “under.” Allegedly…
- Dorit pretended to be a robot because her son asked her to. It was cute.
- Erika ordered a beer and Lisa & Her Lips and Dorit The Twit were so taken aback that you’d think the world had stopped revolving. I also liked how Erika wasn’t fussy about it – she just wanted a beer in a glass. Dorit and Rinna reminisce about doing kegs when they were young… Well, they still both dress like it’s the 80s – so it kinda fits.
- There was a gratuitous packing scene ‘cuz they’re all taking a trip together to the Bahamas. Dorit sure had a lot of purses and stuff to pack for just having everything stolen. Maybe the insurance money kicked in…
Stuff I Learned – But Wish I Hadn’t
- Giggy, Vanderpinkie’s beloved dog, must have surgery to receive a pacemaker. I wasn’t aware they provided them for dogs. That’s amazing…
- Erika said that visuals of Denise and her then boyfriend Aaron having sex ranked right up there with her favorite porn. It’s kinda funny… but kinda not, right? Honestly, I try hard (no pun intended) not to visualize my friends as having sex together… I don’t even want to entertain the notion that my parents ever had sex.
- Denise and Aaron had sex at his workplace. Wait… I’m confused… I mean… Is that a service or an employee benefit that’s offered there? Denise said it’s a DNA repair and anti-aging office. No, they’re NOT opposed to aging… they just like to slow it down. Denise also referred to Aaron’s work as “frequency work” and “balancing the body.” I just think Aaron LOVES to balance Denise’s body frequently…
- Mauricio laughed at Kyle a lot. I didn’t like it. He laughed at her about her wonky eye. He laughed at her pain as she anticipated saying the dreaded goodbye to Sophia as she goes off to college. Then he brings up how the night before, Portia (11 years old) was sleeping next to him and he wanted to sleep at an awkward angle so she wouldn’t wake up. He knew he wouldn’t have many more nights like this. Of course, this TOTALLY made Kyle feel oh, so much better. She’s already freaking out about her 3rd daughter moving off to college any day now… Now he’s talking about their last kid?
- Teddi and her husband schedule sex twice a week. Well, it only hits her official “To Do” list when it’s a special day. Denise and her husband have it every day. No one else said a word. I don’t blame them. Yet, it a weird, twisted way – I kinda am curious – not that it’s any of my business.
The women haven’t even left yet and there’s already Bahama drama! The women board a very nice private jet. No, it’s not Erika’s… but it’s still quite nice. Of course, we’re all lead to believe that Dorit is the hostess of the trip and is somehow planning and paying for this trip herself. Lol…Ya think?
Everyone is gushing about the nice jet and their excitement for the trip. Vanderpinkie boards the plane and abruptly exclaims, “Dorit – You’ve done something right for once.” Thud.
Okay… Lisa’s totally going to hear about that dig for the next few years. Vanderpinkie doesn’t always read a room accurately before she speaks. Dorit’s appreciation for Vanderpinkie’s British humor is fading as fast as her own fake accent. You’re from Connecticut, Dorit.
See… now this is why Dorit’s such a twit. She’s from Connecticut and has a British accent.
They all talk about their hotel accommodations and Dorit explains that she will occupy one of the suites. She made a big deal by announcing to the group that she’s inviting Vanderpinkie to room with her. Vanderpinkie did NOT want to room with Dorit – because – you know, who would?
I dunno… I think I would have made a phone call before the trip to ask my friend if she wanted to room with me or not – even IF it’s a ginormous suite. It’s tough to be rejected by a friend like that in public.
Why am I defending Dorit? Ugh!
Erika all but jumped up and down and said, “Pick me… Pick me… Pick me!”
To make thing worse, Vanderpinkie decided to explain that she didn’t want to room with Dorit because she has a terrible snoring problem and she passes gas.
What a charming thing to say about a friend on national TV. I’d be pissed off even if it WAS true. It just wasn’t nice.
Lisa has a bazillion dogs currently living inside her house, doesn’t she? I would have thought that her senses would be permanently immune to snoring and farting by now, no?
Lisa first said that she didn’t want to room with anyone. I don’t blame her at ALL for that – She’s going through a lot right now and needs a safe place where she can escape from the mayhem that is likely to happen.
Then Lisa suggested to Kyle that they take the other available suite. Kyle wasn’t keen on it – I think it was not because she didn’t want to room with Lisa – but because Kyle thought it might hurt Dorit’s feelings.
Kyle astutely said, “It’s all fun and games until one jab goes too far.”
It doesn’t look good for Vanderpinkie. Erika seems cranky at Lisa ‘cuz she tried to harsh her mellow. There are other rumblings amongst the ladies, too. I think this might be the beginning of the end. I wonder if Lisa even makes it through the entire trip… I’m not hopeful.
That’s it for this episode…Yay!
We got through the first 2 episodes and we’re alive to tell about it. The clear protective wall in front of my TV screen doesn’t even have remnants of any food or drink related items on it. I may or may not have thrown stuff at the TV during previous RHOBH seasons.
Life happened yesterday… not a great day for us… Our lives are dramatically changing (nothing healthwise – we’re ok) but I’m pretty pissed off about it… We’re trying to be like a palm tree and bend with the wind… but right now I want to drop a coconut on someone’s head (I kid, I kid – but not really). I admit I’m holy cow anxious and yesterday was hard – very hard… Ugh.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read. I’m enjoying writing about this show again even though it has to be a tad tardy. I sure hope the show remains watchable.
RHONY is coming next week… I’m honestly not sure if I’m up to doing both… I’ll hafta think about it.
Last year’s RHONY really pissed me off – and it doesn’t look like there’s been any cast changes this year. UGH.
Video of the Week
I love baby elephants. My husband showed me this video yesterday – it’s short – but sweet. It just keeps repeating again and again. No one was hurt – though the woman could have been smooched to death.
The YouTube video was posted by Partisan Buzz and entitled, “Baby Elephant Gives Unsuspecting Girl Laying on Beach a Cuddle and Smooch.”
All photos are video screenshots of the episodes or videos related to the episodes that can be accessed at: www.bravotv.com. The group shot is from the RHOBH’s Facebook page – that can be accessed at: https://www.facebook.com/pg/RealHousewivesofBeverlyHills/photos/?ref=page_internal