Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (RHOBH)
“Bahama Drama” – S9/E4
AKA: “2 Johns Don’t Make A Right”
Remember Last Week…
At “the heartbreak hotel” everyone “got all shook up” because Lucy, the “hound dog” ended up at the “jailhouse rock” kill shelter after Dorit “returned her to sender.”
Somehow, Dorit, who is slicker than snot on a doorknob, came out as the victim in all of this whilst everyone’s madder than a wet hen at Vanderpinkie for manipulating Teddi into making Dorit look bad.
Poor widdle Dorit…
Believe You Me
I’m not going to recap this episode’s chain of events but rather, I want to approach it from a big picture perspective. Those of you who are friends with me on FB know some of what’s been going on in our lives recently – and I frankly, don’t have the patience or energy to deal with idiocy at the moment.
Here’s the thing…
If you hate Vanderpinkie then you’re gonna believe she’s a conniving, manipulative “itch with a ‘b’” who set up Teddi to do nasty things to Dorit. I personally, do think at times LVP can be conniving, manipulative, and her humorous jabs can often come off as being b*tchy. But there are also lots of things I love about her, too…
If you believe Dorit is an angel sent from the heavens, gilded in gold leaf (we have the pics to prove it), whose sole purpose on earth is to bring world peace… Well then, Houston, we have a problem.
If you believe Teddi is the new truth cannon of this franchise, then you’re gonna believe every word that comes out of her accountability coach mouth. I believe Teddi thinks she is telling the truth – but it’s only HER truth, her whole truth, and nothing but her truth… So help us, God!
Two Johns Don’t Make a Right
As any exceptional professional prostitutes should, we need to keep our Johns straight. Wait, that didn’t cum out right, right? Wait… I didn’t mean “cum” – I meant “come.”
As Winnie the Pooh would say, “Oh bother.”
The moral to the story is… Wait… is there even a moral to this story or any morality to this story?
There are two different Johns that take pivotal roles in the whole Dorit saga and both are associated with Vanderpump Dogs. We gotta know who we’re talking about, right?
Dr. John Sessa – Is the executive director of Vanderpump Dog Foundation. He considers himself to be the parent to all of the puppies he’s had a hand in birthing at Vanderpump Dogs.
Dr. Sessa bottle-fed Lucy himself – and as her Dad, he has a heightened sense of responsibility towards her. Lucy’s safety and the preservation of the Foundation’s reputation seem to be the most important things to him through all of this.
Dr. John Sessa is the one who physically brought Lucy out to meet Teddi and Kyle during the filming of the scene at Vanderpump Dogs. If you want to read an article from Dr. John Sessa’s perspective, TooFab has an interesting one…
John Blizzard – Is a 23-year old event planner for Vanderpump Dogs. Since Teddi has been participating in events and promotions for Vanderpump Dogs – she and John Blizzard seem to have created a great working relationship together. He’s the one who told Teddi about what Dorit had done.
In her blog, Vanderpinkie said she hadn’t been in contact with John Blizzard “in quite some time” and that she doesn’t talk to him much except when they’re working on their annual fundraising gala. She also said she doesn’t even have his phone number.
Okay, before you all @ me… Of course, as an employee, Lisa has access to his phone number if she ever needed it. The point is – that she doesn’t text or call him often enough for him to even be a “contact” on her phone.
Torn Between Two Blogs
This week, I found Teddi’s blog and Lisa’s blog to be especially fascinating and eye-opening. I encourage you to travel on over to Bravo to read them, if you have the time.
Teddi, Ms. Truth Cannon, wasn’t exactly so truthful while they were filming in the Bahamas. She conveniently left out something as she told and retold Dorit’s story.
In her above-referenced blog, Teddi wrote, “John Blizzard called me to tell me the dog story at Lisa Vanderpump’s request, knowing that Dorit and I were in a bad place. He tells me that Dorit would not call Lisa Vanderpump back and that Lisa wanted to text her ‘Teddi knows’ in an effort to get her to respond.”
Wait… let me get this straight… ALL of this was supposedly about LVP wanting a return phone call from Dorit? Well, that’s a new twist, no? This doesn’t even make sense to me…
So why wasn’t Dorit responding to her good friend Vanderpinkie about the situation? Could it be she was feeling guilty that she royally screwed up since the dog she adopted wound up at a kill shelter? Nah… You’d hafta have a moral compass to feel guilty about doing something wrong.
While that was news to me, the BIGGEST revelation I learned ONLY through reading Teddi’s blog this week, was that it was TEDDI who arranged for Lucy to be brought out while they were filming the 1st episode – NOT LVP as many have asserted.
Teddi wrote, “Yes, I originally agreed to be a part of this mess and asked John Blizzard to have the dog there. I wasn’t just going to bring it up out of thin air.”
Teddi is the one who made everything happen for filming purposes. It changes everything to me.
Oh sure, LVP may have made sure Teddi knew about what Dorit had done (though LVP says she didn’t in her blog)… but it was Teddi who chose to run with the storyline… If Teddi hadn’t acted on it – it would just have been information she knew about Dorit… Nothing more.
Teddi is a grown adult woman – an accountability coach who advocates that people take responsibility for all aspects of their lives – who is now whining that LVP manipulated her into doing something she didn’t want to do. She accused LVP of manipulating her and using her as a scapegoat.
Really, and how does THAT happen when LVP and Teddi never even talked/texted about the situation at all? I mean, not ever! Boy, that Vanderpinkie must possess some ginormous Jedi mind control tricks, yes?
I think Teddi reacted to some information she received and decided it should be a storyline for the show. I honestly don’t blame her for it – they’re all looking for storylines and this is a HUGE one. Now, Production may have had their hands in it, too – I don’t know how or when they found out about it…
But the thing is, remember (I think it was last week) when Teddi was originally telling the other women about Dorit’s dog situation? Teddi said, “And then when we went into Vanderpump Dogs, John pranced her dog out and told Kyle.”
Wait a freakin’ minute, Teddi… I must have missed the part when you admitted to the women that YOU were the one who told John Blizzard to have Lucy “pranced” out so you could tell Kyle on camera what had happened with Dorit.
Teddi told us she has never lies. Except that she lied by omission by conveniently leaving out the fact that it was her idea to bring out the dog at Vanderpump Dogs. We never see her “own” that part of the story during this whole time.
She’s now blaming her actions on Vanderpinkie by accusing her of manipulating Teddi into doing what she did. My, my, my… Who is the scapegoat now?
Now it’s possible Teddi did take responsibility at some point – and that part of the footage could easily be lying somewhere on the editing room’s floor… but there’s no actual evidence she said anything about it. I think if she HAD owned it on camera at some point – that the reactions of the others would have been different.
Do you see how this changed EVERYTHING to me?
Teddi blathered to us on the show, “I may not be the most easy-going person in the world – but I’m not out to sabotage somebody else.”
I don’t believe Teddi intentionally meant to sabotage or hurt Dorit – but I do find it credible that she found a storyline and ran with it. Initially, she may not have thought through the negative repercussions for Dorit, but instead reacted to passionate Vanderpump Dogs personnel who were mad as heck at Dorit.
I think personnel from Vanderpump Dogs wanted Dorit to be called out on the carpet for her irresponsible actions since it didn’t appear that Lisa was going to do it herself because of her longtime friendship with PK and Dorit.
To me, the most egregious thing Vanderpinkie did – Was to NOT get cranky at Dorit for doing what she did. I’m sure she gets cranky when her tea isn’t warm enough or when the pink in the new pillow isn’t pink enough. I’ll never understand why LVP didn’t scream bloody hell at Dorit over this.
Or maybe it’s because when you’re grieving, as LVP was at the time… you barely have enough energy to function at all much less cause a commotion. I dunno…
I’ve also maintained from the beginning, that Lisa didn’t want this fiasco to be discussed on camera at all. I didn’t think it made Vanderpump Dogs look especially great since their 2 dog placements with Dorit were not successful.
Lisa bore this out in her blog when she wrote, “There is no benefit to our foundation with any attention being brought to this matter. Just the mere fact that one of our dogs ended up in a shelter is a potential catastrophe, especially since we are a non-profit 501c3 that needs donations.”
Additional information may surface… We shall see… but for now… this is as much sense as I can make out of it.
I’ve Said it Once… And I’ll Say it Again…
Always, ALWAYS judge a hotel by their flamingos. The baby/toddler flamingos at the hotel were just so danged adorable… My gosh… I’m surprised they didn’t make their way into Vanderpinkie’s luggage to join her menagerie at Villa Rosa. Though her swans, Hankie and Panky, would have had a thing or two to say about it.
I Don’t Get It
It’s interesting to me that Erika doesn’t always talk about her husband in glowing terms – or at least we don’t see it, if she does. We know she loves him and that he’s a very, very busy man.
I’m sure both of those things are true.
However, on this episode, when Erika and Teddi went golfing, Erika told Teddi a not-so-flattering story about her husband. I guess, once upon a time Erika took some private golf lessons and got pretty good at it.
Erika and her husband then went to play a round of golf at the Bel-Air Country Club. Erika beat him… I’m not sure they even played a whole round or if it was just one hole. Either way – they’ve never played again.
I’m not sayin’ anything more about this ‘cuz he’s a lawyer and I’m not.
I will say that I loved how Erika helped Teddi with her golf swing. Her advice was, “Roll your shoulders forward so you get over your boobs a little bit and get over it.” Lol.
Some of us have to deal with big boobs in our lives. Others of us just have big chests… lol.
Things That Made Me Laugh
I loved how Rinna and Camille rode stationary bicycles to power the blenders that blended their daiquiris. Hilarious… I’m looking for franchising opportunities…
Some of the women tried to go snorkeling – But snorkeling was a total bust likely since all of the fish stayed away ‘cuz they knew there were a bunch of sharks in the water wearing funny masks…
I loved it when Vanderpinkie said she would rather hang out with the baby flamingos instead of “those other silly old birds.”
It made me laugh that when Teddi arrived at LVP’s room she immediately asked for an apology… Lol… That’s hilarious… Anyone who knows Vanderpinkie knows it can take a whole season to get a half-hearted apology out of her.
I loved how Ken asked John Blizzard to print out all of his text messages between he and Teddi for him. Teddi said she had receipts… Well, Ken does, too. It will come down to a battle of receipts – and that makes me giggle a bit more than I should admit.
Stuff I Learned – But Wish I Hadn’t
Camille and Denise asked Dorit why she didn’t call LVP BEFORE she gave Lucy away. Dorit said she didn’t deliberately NOT tell her – that they spoke all the time… huh?
Camille told Dorit, “That’s the point!” Camille couldn’t understand why Dorit wouldn’t have told LVP that the dog wasn’t working out… Dorit repeated that it wasn’t about hiding anything. Camille told us in her talking head interview she thought it was a bit shady that Dorit gave Lucy away and THEN told Lisa about it. ITA.
Rinna told Dorit she’d be very upset if she were Dorit since Vanderpump had all of this crap happen. Rinna said, “It’s f*cking bullsh*t.”
Awww… look at Rinna… doing what she does best… being a big, fat spoon stirring the drama. She’s really good at it – I hope she’s paid well for it.
Rinna, sensing a dramatic moment, then went off on an exaggerated tangent about how Dorit has got to protect her children and f*ck everything else <insert gratuitous eye roll here>.
OMG… No one is saying Dorit shouldn’t protect her kids. No one is saying that Dorit should have kept the dog. NO ONE is saying that! Dorit should have given Lucy back to Vanderpump Dogs like she was contractually obligated to do. Like she did with her 1st dog.
That’s it for this week…
Way to go! We made it through another week! Yay!
It’s been a roller coaster of a week for us. Some very high highs…and some very low lows. I’m sure you can relate. At least we can white knuckle this ride together, right?
Thanks so much for reading… I really appreciate it. Until next time…
Video of the Week
This video cracks me up. A guy walks out of a room by pretend jumping over an imaginary box in the doorway. The cat who follows him, stops for a moment… looks around… and then follows his master’s lead. I don’t want to admit to how many time’s I’ve watched this video…lol.
The YouTube video was posted by viRAllY and entitled, “Prank On Cat with an Invisible Box.”
All photos are video screenshots of the episodes or videos related to the episodes that can be accessed at:www.bravotv.com. The group shot is from the RHOBH’s Facebook page – that can be accessed at: https://www.facebook.com/pg/RealHousewivesofBeverlyHills/photos/?ref=page_internal