Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (RHOBH)
“Fifty Shades of Shade” – S9/E6
AKA: “It’s Not a Party Until Kyle Does the Splits”
Remember Last Week…
We talked about the everchanging story of Teddi and how each week a new stone (or text message) is unturned that’s supposed to be unequivocal evidence of LVP’s complicity with her employees to bring down Dorit. However, it only served to demonstrate Truth Cannon Teddi’s culpability in this whole ginormous fiasco.
I grow tired. You grow more tired. This storyline is tired and needs to be retired.
The complete lunacy of this season is weighing heavier on us with each passing week. We are being asked by Teddi and her gang to believe that LVP somehow manipulated Teddi into doing something she didn’t want to do.
LVP is especially clever since she did all her manipulations without ever directly talking to Teddi. We’re told she directed her Vanderpump Dog staff do it.
So, does that make them her hit men and therefore her assassins? Well, in my book, whoever makes an ass out of Dorit, wins. Well, let’s be real – she’s able to do that all by herself… but it almost rhymed… so I hadta go with it.
I know, I know, “Ass out of Dorit, wins” does NOT rhyme with “assassins” – but in all fairness, I did say “almost rhymed.”
Surely, Teddi must mean LVP forced her to do it against her will because LVP signs Teddi’s paychecks. Wait… she doesn’t?
Perhaps it’s because LVP is one of the producers of the show and has control of the storylines. Wait… she’s not?
Again, Vanderpinkie is NOT blameless… She absolutely gives advice to others about what to say on camera… She identifies potential storyline threads so people have something to talk about in their scenes. She is also likely holy cow controlling about her own scenes and how they are edited.
Wouldn’t you do the same? I would. So, call me manipulative, too! The truth is – they ALL have a vested interest in the success of the show.
They ALL want to secure a contract for next season… And if they can gang up on someone and make them want to leave – there’s a less likely chance that one of the remaining cast members will be fired this season.
Just something to ponder…
Eye Opening Moment
Dorit sat Erika down and told her that while she and Kyle were at Vanderpinkie’s – she was shown 6 pages of text messages between John Blizzard and Teddi about the whole dog situation.
Dorit tells Erika that she saw the part when Teddi said something like, “Have the dog at Vanderpump Center and I’ll bring it up” to which Erika responds, “Whoa.”
Dorit continues to tell Erika how Teddi texted John 5 minutes before her arrival to ensure the dog was there.
Erika says in her TH that from Dorit, she’s finding out different facts than what she was told in her chapel by Teddi. I’m telling ya… it’s just not smart to lie – especially while sitting in a chapel.
Dorit says that with the new evidence and Lisa’s outright refusal to accept any responsibility for anything regarding the dog – that she feels she has 2 friends who were, “trying to set me up to hurt me.”
While I was playing the worlds smallest violin for poor, widdle, Dorit The Victim – Erika was busy thinking in her head. She was completely confused by the end game – Was it to make Dorit look bad? She quickly advised Dorit, “Don’t trust anybody.” Dorit said she thinks she’s got to trust somebody – So Erika told her to trust herself.
I don’t know… If I were Dorit would I honestly be able to trust myself?
It kind of also says a lot about the mindset of where Erika is coming from, no? Hmmm… but then again, I wouldn’t trust any of these women, either…lol.
Things That Entertained Me
It was amusing that Denise was… let’s just say… feeling no pain when she her fiancé went to dinner with Vanderpinkie and Kyle. She couldn’t stop herself from talking about the hefty size of her soon-to-be-husband’s hangie down thingie.
Vanderpinkie advised Denise NOT to tell other women he has a big hangie down thingie – presumably, ‘cuz they might want a piece of it. That’s my own editorial comment, not LVP’s… but she DID imply it…lol.
Since I like Denise – the whole thing came off to me as adorable… maybe even hilarious. Now, if someone I don’t always like said the same danged thing, I could have easily judged it to be creepy, lewd, and inappropriate. Okay, so I’m a hypocrite at times… lol.
No matter what – the subject resulted in one of the greatest scenes this season thus far – when Kyle and Vanderpinkie left the restaurant and were walking down the street giggling and laughing together. It was genuine, spontaneous, and fun.
Yet, the sense of foreboding in knowing this would be one of the last great scenes of the two of them together as friends slapped me in the face.
Another thing that entertained me was about how Erika was at Dorit’s bikini photo shoot. Erika was so supportive and gave precise opinions and directions – And I gotta admit – she was right. I don’t always agree with Erika but she’s right in saying that a woman should feel confidently good in her own skin…
I wonder… Is that why the RHOBH wear so much faux leopard and shark skin clothing? #Asking4APredatoryAnimal
It was also entertaining when Denise and 2 of her daughters visited Lisa’s home, Villa Rosa. After finding out she had 6 swans, I loved how Denise asked Vanderpinkie, “Where do you find swans?” And Lisa replied, “I dunno… at the swan shop.”
Finally, I loved how Rinna was honest about how hard it was to turn 50 as a woman in Hollywood. There’s lots of pressure to look as young as possible and she confessed to basically being a human science experiment. She pointed to all the potions and supplements she uses daily to look fresh as a daisy… lol…
Camille… Camille… Camille…
Camille was having her 50th birthday! She was thrilled she made it to 50 because she survived a scary bout with cancer and a horrible divorce. With her upcoming nuptials – It seemed like she thought this year was going to be a new chapter in her book of life.
This IS a new chapter in her life… the problem is this specific chapter was written by Steven King because we now know that Camille’s house burned down to the ground during the devastating Malibu fires. Thank God that Camille and her family were okay… but jinkies!
When crap like this happens in life – it gives you a whole new perspective on what is REALLY important. Camille knew she was starting out all over again – she just didn’t know how “over again” it was going to be.
While planning her 50th birthday party, Camille had an opportunity to talk to Lisa & Her Lips about how Vanderpinkie hasn’t changed her manipulative tactics at all throughout these many seasons.
She referenced an early season when LVP told her off camera to bring up on camera how Taylor was telling them all she was being abused by her husband.
In our current episode, we saw a couple of clips from 2011 about that subject.
In full disclosure, someone on Twitter posted an additional clip (not fully seen in our current episode) that I’ve since located on YouTube… This particular YouTube clip was posted by 2jataubw on March 19, 2016, entitled, “Taylor Armstrong vs Camille Grammar.”
Camille said at the time she felt Vanderpinkie assassinated her character and threw her under the bus during that season… I’m confused… because in the above clip, it shows LVP backing up Camille as she was confronting Taylor during the scene itself.
This week, Production showed us a previously unseen 2011 clip of Camille confronting LVP about the situation. Clearly, something weird was going on… I’m just not sure what. As with Teddi, I don’t understand how someone who doesn’t sign your paychecks and who isn’t the director MAKES you say something on camera you don’t want to say.
I don’t remember that season well enough to intelligently comment. Heck, heck I barely remember last week. I’m just giving you as much info as I can.
I also might be lost because Camille didn’t use any BIG words like “pernicious” even once during her whole explanation. We learned long ago, we ALWAYS have a dictionary handy when Camille speaks. I love, love, LOVE it!
One of the hilarious parts was also when Camille told Rinna about how she thought Dorit was a bit phony. She’s not sure if it’s just Dorit’s fake accent – or if Dorit is lying about how much money they have, etc… regardless… we learned that Dorit makes the hair on the back of Camille’s neck stand straight up.
PK has always had that same effect on me.
I admit… I died laffin’… You know… in an empowering women kind of way. Lol.
Camille threw out the question about whether or not Dorit even wanted a dog in the first place – or if she just wanted a dog so she could be close to Vanderpinkie. My gosh… I hope she’s wrong ‘cuz that’s a horrible reason to get a dog.
It’s NOT a Party Until Kyle Does the Splits
During Camille’s 50th birthday party, at Erika’s urging, Dorit confronts Teddi about the damning text messages LVP showed her highlighting how Teddi said, “have the dog there.” Teddi looks like she’s about to throw up because she KNOWS she’s been caught red handed.
These are Teddi’s exact words to Dorit, “I was involved… but none of it would’ve ever happened if Lisa Vanderpump wouldn’t have given them direct orders to constantly contact me.”
Teddi then said, “I can tell you this – I am sorry and I want to move on, and I want to start fresh with you. None of it would have happened without her orders.”
Dorit told Teddi that LVP said it was entirely Dorit and John Blizzard. Teddi said, “they sought me out because of your and I’s past relationship… and because of the information Lisa Vanderpump fed me, I was in on the scheme.”
Everything changed for Teddi when they were at Vanderpump Dogs, and LVP shut down the conversation about the dog. That’s when Teddi thought LVP was trying to make her out to be the bad guy.
Teddi said she was set up, she took the bait, but she couldn’t go through with it. Wait… Which part of not going through with it do you mean, Teddi? You talked about the dog on camera, didn’t you? You broke the story, no?
There’s a lot of talk about how Teddi, the Truth Cannon, who CLAIMED she “never lied one second of my life… ever,” was caught in a… wait for it… wait for it… she was caught in a… torrential downpour? No… that’s not it… Now what was Teddi caught in again… oh yeah…
A LIE… Teddi was caught in A FREAKIN’ LIE…
But all the other women think it’s all instantly okay and entirely forgivable, ‘cuz at least she’s taking ownership of it NOW…
NOW??? NOW??? AFTER she told everyone it was ALL LVP’s fault ALL this time? NOW after woefully minimizing her own involvement over and over again even though she had more than ample time to come clean about it… We’re 6 episodes in, dagnabit…
And get this… Teddi is NOW saying she lied about the whole danged thing ‘cuz… now hold on to your chonies… she lied because…
SHE WAS PROTECTING DORIT!
LVP consistently maintained she didn’t have any involvement in it. But a question DOES remain that LVP has yet to answer… How DID she know that Teddi knew about the dog in the 1st place? Did the other John (not Blizzard) tell her?
LVP did not answer the question, presumably, because she didn’t want to throw her business partner under the bus. The problem is that she’s already been driven over and over and over again by that same danged bus.
Teddi summed up her perspective by telling LVP, “If you can live with yourself doing this – then go for it. It’s been working for you for a long time.” I think Teddi thought she dropped the mic at this point… but she really didn’t.
Vanderpinkie flatly responded, “I’m fine with that.” And she walked away…
It’s only now, as LVP sees the episodes unfold and what everyone was saying about her behind her back, that she will know how many times they threw that bus in reverse and rolled back over her dead, lifeless body.
This includes her dear “friend,” Dorit who continues to think LVP plotted against her to hurt her.
The ironic statement of the night was when Dorit, someone who doesn’t seem to have an authentic bone in her body, said whilst using her fake English accent, “The truth will always set you free.”
I Have Questions
Are we supposed to believe none of the women call each other to plot and plan their scenes together? I mean, it’s not fully scripted but it has been referred to as being “soft scripted.”… I’m sure they have at least a loose outline of what’s going to happen, no?
Why was American Woman not on Bravo? The 1st season was shown on the Viacom-owned Paramount Network.
Bravo has dipped their toes into scripted TV so it’s odd to me they weren’t interested in it – or maybe the timing was off or something. I feel badly for Kyle that her show was canceled – but I honestly didn’t watch much more than 2 episodes. It just wasn’t my thing. It’s sad that Kyle’s relationships with her sisters suffered over it.
Dorit declared she wanted to wear pink bikinis for the photoshoot… Since Kyle wore a shockingly pink suit to Vanderpinkie’s house last episode while saying something about how she was no longer going to be bullied by the pink… Can we now expect each housewife to make a concerted effort to wear pink to passive aggressively stick it to Vanderpinkie?
If they are – I’m all for it… lol. As I’ve said a bazillion times – It’s ridiculous to think anyone owns sole use of a color – and I totally would wear pink every danged time to Vanderpinkie’s house even if I didn’t like the color… ‘cuz I’m a rebel like that… lol.
Last week, I was fine when Kyle wore it. Yet… This week, I didn’t like it when Dorit wore it. Yes… I’m aware my hypocrisy is showing again… lol.
Why does Dorit call Erika, “E” – Is it a kewl new nickname I haven’t heard before? It sounds weird to me – I feel like she’s calling her a fashion news website or a TV network or something… Also…
I’m not fond of Dorit particularly using, “E” as a nickname… ‘cuz if she said it quickly 3 times in a row, “E… E… E” – I instantly would think of sharp knives and blood splattering everywhere.
However, I’m in NO way implying that Dorit is currently stabbing LVP in the back… nope, nope, nope.
Speaking of death, why did all the HWs (except Kyle) wear black to Camille’s 50th birthday party? I would have gone out of my way NOT to wear black for a decade birthday party like that – unless it was part of the intended theme.
I mean, they should have just gone ahead and worn tombstone earrings and casket necklaces, right?
That wraps up the most recent episode of RHOBH – We’ll hafta to tune in tonight to see who gets stabbed in the back next.
I wanted to take the time to thank everyone who weighed in on Twitter and FB about whether they’d rather read about RHOBH or RHONY. I hadn’t really been physically up to writing about both shows thus far – and it’s always a tug of war for me so I desperately needed your feedback.
Fortunately, I felt pretty good yesterday, so I was able to get RHOBH done in the wee hours this morning… I also got a chunk of RHONY done, too but I still have quite a bit to go.
Therefore, in addition to this post today… I’m hoping to post RHONY on Thursday (or Friday) – which will be a culmination of the season thus far. At least that’s the plan at this point…
Since you all have been so kind to read this entire post… I wanted to let you in on a little something which might be nothing but then again it might be something – that I found out just last night…
My husband and I have been watching the 2019 American Rescue Dog Show that was filmed in January 2019 and aired in February 2019 on the Hallmark Channel over 2 nights (4 hours total). We’ve been watching it on and off to savor it.
I mean… how can you NOT love a dog show featuring rescue dogs that measures “Best in Wiggle Butt,” “Best in Underbite,” “Best in Couch Potato,” “Best in Snoring,” and “Best in Belly Rubs,” etc.?
Okay… so here’s the thing… for the last category – I think it was prolly “Best in Show” or something like that – Lisa Vanderpump was one of the celebrity judges. Kewl, yes?
Okay, okay… So get this… As they’re introducing the judges and giving us a brief bio about them, they say this about Lisa, “She’s so passionate about rescues, she created the Vanderpump Dog Foundation – the star of ‘Vanderpump Rules,’ Lisa Vanderpump.” <applause, applause>
What’s missing you ask?
There’s NO mention of REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS at all…
Intentional? Or accidental?
So… I dunno if it’s a real “thing” or not… I’m sure it could have just been an oversight. It could be that for one reason or another she wanted to highlight Vanderpump Rules and not RHOBH.
However, it also could have been a strategically passive aggressive move signaling her intentions for next year…
Perhaps I’m a conspiracy theorist on this… and I know Vanderpinkie threatens to quit every danged year… but it was VERY telling to me.
We shall see, shan’t we? Thanks for reading!
Video of the Week
It’s my favorite time of the year on the puddle/pond where I live. We have several duck pairs, and thus – ducklings. I love videos of ducklings going down slides so I thought I’d share a video with the class.
The YouTube video was posted by CrazyFunnyStuffCFS and entitled, “Ducklings on Slides – Compilation”
All photos are video screenshots of the episodes or videos related to the episodes that can be accessed at:www.bravotv.com. The group shot is from the RHOBH’s Facebook page – that can be accessed at: https://www.facebook.com/pg/RealHousewivesofBeverlyHills/photos/?ref=page_internal